#3 WHO THE F*CK ARE WE? - Part 3

:: 00:00:03

Speaker 1

All right, Kirsty. So you got out of this dev relationship? Your son's six months old. What happens next?

:: 00:06:21

Speaker 2

All right, so I got out of there and I knew no one. There was no social media. I had none of my friends phone numbers or anything like that. He completely isolated me from absolutely everyone. so I was at home living with my parents, with my six month old, and I was like, all right, cool. I need to do something.

:: 00:23:02

Speaker 2

So I go to the gym. Now, I never went to the gym to be able to look good or anything like that. I went to the gym because I needed to get physically fit, so no guy could ever fuck with me again. And that's the start of my journey into fitness. I started them all my sudden seeing a bodybuilder.

:: 00:40:13

Speaker 2

Then I got into the bodybuilding lifestyle, started lifting more and more heavier weights. and I was with a guy for a couple of years, which was awesome. He taught me so much things, you know, taught me so much love and passion for the fitness industry. and there was a moment when I really started to make sure that no guy could ever take anything away from me again.

:: 00:58:13

Speaker 2

So I started working harder, was getting into businesses and things like that as well. so I had my money sorted. I was physically fit and strong and, I started really diving into self-development. So I started doing every single self-development book that came out, courses that came out like I needed to be resilient. I needed to be, really, really.

:: 01:19:04

Speaker 2

I need to have a strong mindset, you know, and I've taken this everywhere in my life now because of that. so fast forward a few years from there. You know, I'm around 21 now, and, you know, I had a couple more toxic relationships in between. Yeah. Because, like, I'm slowly not going to release and learn when I really don't like, you know, I'm very, very fast to that now.

:: 01:41:02

Speaker 2

Like, if I don't like it, I'm like, yeah, cool. Gone. But it took me. It took me a while to get to that, you know. But that's that's the steps, right? You can't fucking, you can't slow down the journey of your life. You gotta go through the steps to get to where you are now. And this is why I'm so successful is why I'm so confident now.

:: 01:57:13

Speaker 2

Because I don't get caught up in the fucking pebbles along the way, you know? So, yeah, I went through a couple more talks and relationships and, then I had Noah, and when I was pregnant with Noah, I was like, Holy shit, what am I going to do? I just come from New Zealand, moved to Perth only like a few months prior to that, with Noah's dad.

:: 02:16:20

Speaker 2

With Noah's dad? Yeah. And, we had split up, you know, there's a whole nother. That's a whole nother podcast.

:: 02:23:03

Speaker 1

yeah. Everything's a whole nother podcast.

:: 02:26:03

Speaker 2

Exactly. Right. yeah. And I was like, well, what am I going to do? I'm living in Australia, in Perth, and I can't get a benefit. So how much? How am I going to go to raise this child? So I started going and asked myself some questions. And at that time, you know, for many years, probably about 3 or 4 years, I done Tony Robbins.

:: 02:43:07

Speaker 2

so I went back to doing Tony Robbins craze. back then it was sea days. Yeah. And, it was like a 21 day or 30 day program that my dad had given me. And I started to listen to the series again. I'd go to sleep, too. They say these and Tony Robbins and I asked myself, like, what would I love to do that would give me up at 3:00 in the morning, as far as you know, subconsciously, now that I look back, you know, 3 a.m. I used to call it know between 2 and 3 was golden hour.

:: 03:06:18

Speaker 2

You know that magic, magic magic hour. And, it's crazy because until I just do that, then it was probably a really pivotal moment. So there's subconsciously this has been working in the background for many, many years. And so, I was like, what we came up with 3:00 this morning, I thought, you know what? I would like to be a personal trainer.

:: 03:22:07

Speaker 2

And it was crazy.

:: 03:23:00

Speaker 1

Because I saw the women get strong and help other women. But I think, like, your sole purpose is, like, motivating, not just women. But that's obviously like a passion for yours, but just everything you do. Like, we listened to that video the other day and yeah, so it's really cool to say that you had something back then. And as we go through your story towards what you're doing now, even the way you came in to the breathwork, the way you didn't explain that, but really inspires me because when I did that birthday video, firework and I, everyone was like, the way you make me feel.

:: 03:57:12

Speaker 1

And I said to you, this is why you're such a good coach. This is why when people join our program, they get change. This is why people are so drawn and attracted to you because you generally give a fuck. Yeah, like if someone was your pet back then. Even back then, not even now. I reckon their life changed.

:: 04:15:04

Speaker 2

100.

:: 04:15:12

Speaker 1

Percent. Not just physically.

:: 04:16:13

Speaker 2

Right? That's exactly right. And the feedback actually is, is that 90% of the time. And they came to me, they said it's actually got nothing to do with the coaching. It's got everything to do with how she makes me feel.

:: 04:26:22

Speaker 1

And the more yeah I feel.

:: 04:28:19

Speaker 2

Yeah. And the like the it was like therapy for them. Exactly. Like, no, that's the therapy session. I'm just getting fit as the bonus. You know, like the therapy.

:: 04:36:04

Speaker 1

So wasn't necessarily getting a fit. Yeah. And you know and I feel like that most of the time people join our programs. They just want to be around you because of the way you make them feel like I'm not the hardass. I breathe and do this and stuff.

:: 04:46:19

Speaker 2

Because I generally I just want everyone to feel good. I'm actually pain free is my mission in life, you know? And and, you know, if you come this far and listen to my story, you'll know why now, because of my past, you know? And so, you know, I started to become personal trainer. And it's crazy because when I was going through that, I was I was pregnant with Noah.

:: 05:05:23

Speaker 2

Noah, I had a five year old, I was working full time, and I was studying part time at the Institute of Fitness in the city, and I was having to get busses and trains on, get off the bus and train on vomit. I had the worst morning sickness of my life and, you know, and then I'd go to school three times a week, part time, after work and it's crazy because I look back now like, that was a hard fucking time.

:: 05:31:00

Speaker 2

My wife, you know, I paid for my course. I had $50 left out of my money each week to spend on myself and groceries.

:: 05:39:09

Speaker 1

I got a newfound respect for a single woman to doing the work that we do, because the old me would be like, single moms and blah blah and all the memes and shit. And, you know, I look at it now like, when I've got Hollywood myself.

:: 05:51:21

Speaker 2

It's.

:: 05:52:01

Speaker 1

Hot and he's not even sick. It's hard work. And you used to work. You work. Do I fly for you on the oil rigs? Do I do sort of a relationship? And that was hard. And now, you know, I look at these kid, these moms with, like, three kids, she's not working. They're all sick, and they're all different ages that need all different parts of her.

:: 06:11:01

Speaker 1

And I'm like, yeah, newfound respect for you.

:: 06:13:20

Speaker 2

I know, and it's crazy. But you know what? Like back then it was just my normal, right? It was my norm. So I never thought I had it. It wasn't for me. It was just what you did.

:: 06:24:15

Speaker 1

And your zillions.

:: 06:25:11

Speaker 2

Yeah. And I honestly like, you know, when I hear, you know, when moms did for me, I like how hot it is, I can't I person like can't resonate with that because I didn't find it hot and set. Having the men in my life was the heart. Yeah. That's the difference. Having them actually in my life was the hard.

:: 06:42:22

Speaker 2

Having them out of my life and just having my kids was the easy. And I loved it, you know? So yes, there was a lot of challenges in my life. There's a lot of obstacles, but I didn't find it hard. So I'm there. During Patty, I had, had Noah and, easy birth literally planned. I said he's going to be this weekend scheduled.

:: 07:04:01

Speaker 2

this all came naturally.

:: 07:05:06

Speaker 1

Can we reverse? I want to hear the story used to catch the bus to work with a five year old and pregnant with Noah. And so you had to get off the bus.

:: 07:15:03

Speaker 2

Tried to get off the bus quickly to vomit into the bin, because. And then. And then I had to walk to drop him off to school. And then I would walk up to my job. So I lived in the city with my parents, but my job was in Osborne Park, you know, which is, you know, a good kind of 30, 45 minutes away from, you know, on a train and bus and things like that.

:: 07:34:23

Speaker 2

So trying bus and walking around Perth now.

:: 07:37:08

Speaker 1

Right.

:: 07:37:14

Speaker 2

Yeah. In Perth. And it's just crazy because like I look back now on my sock. Yeah. It was hard then like no wonder I'm okay now, you know, because when shit happens like my resilience has been building since the day I was fucking born, pretty much, you know. So it's.

:: 07:50:01

Speaker 1

And that's why I like you. You I've, I've.

:: 07:52:02

Speaker 2

Known you crumble. I have a little shit, and I'm just like, what the fuck? So I feel like.

:: 07:56:07

Speaker 1

I'm like, man, you should start a business yourself. Yeah. Some resistance towards fucking doomsday stress is like.

:: 08:02:21

Speaker 2

You'll kill it 100%. So, like, let me just say this. So, like, I gave birth to, Noah. And at that time, I, like, I got qualified, it got paid, you know, and I qualified when Noah was eight and a half months pregnant, I was. I didn't have one spring. It was Noah. So I'm qualified now. Qualified.

:: 08:21:10

Speaker 1

And you're reversing old age like.

:: 08:23:01

Speaker 2

I'm.

:: 08:23:13

Speaker 1

Not fit people.

:: 08:25:07

Speaker 2

Friends are also they're going, you know, like we're running this. Hell, no. Like, you better fucking be Kirsty because she's not going pregnant. And I'll be making sure that no one's made me.

:: 08:31:17

Speaker 1

Like, you know, we are so competitive.

:: 08:33:12

Speaker 2

I'm so competitive. Like, bitch, you ain't going to fuck with me. Like I'm going to win. Like I'm like.

:: 08:37:20

Speaker 1

Family game night. And everyone's like, because she's pushing kids and shit.

:: 08:41:22

Speaker 2

Yeah, like way Noah's like mom harvest her like, calm down. Like you know, oh my, he needs no Nelly. You can't just be the winner of he's not going to win.

:: 08:49:02

Speaker 1

Like, yeah. You know no one gets that.

:: 08:51:06

Speaker 2

No. No one gets a fair play with me. Like you don't get the, you know, the participation award. We don't do that shit over here. So, Yeah. So then I got out of, hospital, and I miss my closet. Shit, I like I'm good to go back to page, and I just had this baby on the Saturday.

:: 09:07:14

Speaker 2

I was 18 people on the Tuesday, and they're like, you're fucking insane.

:: 09:11:22

Speaker 1

When you gave birth to Holly cook dinner that night.

:: 09:14:00

Speaker 2

I cooked dinner that night for my whole family. Yet I'm just like, get the fuck out. Yeah, for for after.

:: 09:19:04

Speaker 1

I'm my parents. Yeah. And my mom and dad. Like, you need a lay down.

:: 09:22:07

Speaker 2

Know, like, oh, you do like you eat like I. You're right. Like, what are you doing? Like you just gave birth. I'm like, yeah, I'm good. Like, we're good to go. I want to go back to 20.

:: 09:28:21

Speaker 1

She's. And she's like, fucking just fucking babies. She's 300.

:: 09:33:00

Speaker 2

Percent. And then I start a business. So that's a whole nother fucking thing. But, yeah. So I did that and I was trying these clients and then there was the side of the thing. So then my ex was playing up a little bit, just sweets, causing me some great fun for it. I'm going to leave. I'm going to move to Kalgoorlie and I.

:: 09:50:16

Speaker 2

You know him. I sent an ad, to be a personal trainer and a gym.

:: 09:54:18

Speaker 1

And a lot of money in Kalgoorlie, a lot of people that.

:: 09:57:01

Speaker 2

I know. And, and I never got to the gym before. And the. It's funny because the lady asked me, you know, did you want to be a contractor for us, or did you want to work for the gym? And that never had contractors. And I said, oh, be contractors, so I'll just pay her rent, right? Which is like $250, I think it was, or $100, I can't remember a week or whatever.

:: 10:16:08

Speaker 2

And I never had this. And I was like, what? Why you became a personal trainer? You don't be a personal trainer. You go work for the gym. Are you going to pay like 19, $20 an hour so.

:: 10:26:17

Speaker 1

That you're in business and renting the space one.

:: 10:28:11

Speaker 2

Hundred percent? Like, you know, like this is ludicrous. So I started there and, I just killed it.

:: 10:33:15

Speaker 1

Because you saw the bigger picture where these guys look at it like they're going to give you.

:: 10:37:20

Speaker 2

And then I try.

:: 10:38:08

Speaker 1

You're going to find your own.

:: 10:39:05

Speaker 2

Way. Then I try to convince everyone, do not work for the gym. Wear for yourself. You can make all that money and be yourself. Like, stop playing the safe game. Like I've never played the safe game. And it kind of how how I became so big in, Kalgoorlie. It's because I was quite cocky and confident and I, I have been in the bodybuilding scene for a long time back in New Zealand.

:: 10:57:18

Speaker 2

you know, and I've been out for a few years. I hadn't been into it in Australia, but I also knew how it worked. And so I went out to the biggest guy in Kalgoorlie. I said, hey, you got a great body. You probably do something with that, but you got shit calves. And then he was like.

:: 11:10:14

Speaker 1

Say that again. You went out to the biggest guy in the gym.

:: 11:14:05

Speaker 2

I went to the biggest guy in the gym.

:: 11:16:09

Speaker 1

Big by muscly.

:: 11:17:11

Speaker 2

Big like he's big. He's got beautiful tan skin. He's he's confident. He thinks he's self-assured. And I went up to him and I said, Royal, are you going to grab what you could just think of with that? But you got shit ups. And I just walked past him and he looked at me and was like, who the fuck is this bitch?

:: 11:35:01

Speaker 2

And I'm like, but if you want to know how to train them, let's talk. And he was this like, not fucking whatever, not gonna have some fucking good girl changing me, blah blah. And so this went on for, for a few weeks, but it's like there's cocktails in the fucking gym, right? I got it from below. You could do something with your life, but you got those calves deal with, you know, like, and hear me, like, fuck you.

:: 11:55:06

Speaker 2

And then one day he went, fuck it. All right, audio session with you better feel better if I don't hear it the next day. I'm not going to. How are you? I said, okay, so I went fucking hard with these calves and I just chained up.

:: 12:06:22

Speaker 1

But you're all about technique two. I did literally one day and I couldn't walk for several. I was in a wheelchair, and I remember when I came down the stairs.

:: 12:16:07

Speaker 2

I, I love it like it is. I'm a.

:: 12:18:08

Speaker 1

Bum. But we didn't do much. It was just that you were getting the right eye for.

:: 12:21:24

Speaker 2

The muscles.

:: 12:22:11

Speaker 1

Angles and fight the muscles where like when people are working at, you know.

:: 12:27:06

Speaker 2

There's a lot of ego in the gym. You always want to smash weights and you got fucking this, like bending shit going.

:: 12:31:08

Speaker 1

Yeah, well, you see people going back and they've got the whole rack, but they're like swinging.

:: 12:36:00

Speaker 2

Like, let me show you how to do that properly. And then you're going to have.

:: 12:38:24

Speaker 1

A lot, a lot less weight. Yeah. Right.

:: 12:41:08

Speaker 2

Technique form, you know.

:: 12:42:17

Speaker 1

Plus you get hurt too, right. If you don't shit. Right.

:: 12:45:15

Speaker 2

So I was training them and I just want to put this in perspective that this guy actually was, a scaffolder. And so, Kiwi.

:: 12:53:01

Speaker 1

Yeah. Of course, big Kiwi.

:: 12:56:01

Speaker 2

and, anyway, so I did a session and he was like, fuck. Like, this was hectic. Like he's sweating. He's fucking in pain. Anyway, two days later, his, boss comes and he goes, what the fuck did you do him? He can not get up the scaffold. I said, well, if he wasn't such an asshole to me, I might have gone a little bit lighter to him.

:: 13:16:00

Speaker 2

But I had to show him real pain. And, that was the beginning. That was when my name started going around like, holy shit. Like, this guy knows what she's doing. And, I started to get a really good name for myself, in Kalgoorlie, and I put myself in the right circles and then eventually, you know, since I went down in the gymnasium.

:: 13:31:00

Speaker 2

And so I started doing boot camps, and I remember the first boot camp that I ever did, by myself.

:: 13:36:14

Speaker 1

Used to take you.

:: 13:37:18

Speaker 2

Sons. My sent me. I know I used to come down the Adidas screen attitude on and do little lunges, lunges and stuff like that and yeah. And it was really awesome. And so he said that we started doing these like boot camps. And my first one that I put on, I was $650 to join my boot camp for 12 weeks, and it was very cool.

:: 13:55:08

Speaker 1

Three model.

:: 13:56:06

Speaker 2

Yeah, three way, three sessions, week. and I made these, booklets up that I had blinded myself. It was really, really crazy. It was like such a moment. you know, I had some my friends, we got T-shirts, we got, iron on, like, logos and stuff that you got from Kmart. And you put the logo on, you printed off on the end.

:: 14:13:10

Speaker 2

You got your on an iron to on to these, black t shirts that we got from Kmart and we did this like, like welcome thing. We made it real fucking professional and it was awesome. And then I started to get known for that. So I started doing these more and more boot camps. And the first one we had about 30, and then we went on to like 70 and it just took off.

:: 14:29:09

Speaker 2

And then, I remember the third time I did it, I made like $75,000 and working for myself. And I literally had I have the tech space, not the same black proper spec, but full and full of cash. And it wasn't a drug deal. I was a page person. And, and then I got even more cunning. So I was like, okay, cool, how can I do these guys?

:: 14:48:15

Speaker 2

So I had a friend in Paris that sold that had a, supplements shop. And so I started, bringing in protein. And so I was cheaper by, like, getting protein off me, like, you know, the brands that I would get in Kalgoorlie, but I would I was like $250 for them. And I think I sold it for like $200, and I was going for maybe 110.

:: 15:07:04

Speaker 2

So like I was getting all the cream and everyone was buying them off me because like, why would they not like I'm they join the party with me. I said, you need this protein powder. I think you drink for as $5 cheaper goes for here. So I started doing that. Then I started buying protein bars online.

:: 15:21:16

Speaker 1

To be liked in business. So I.

:: 15:23:05

Speaker 2

Know 100% like, you know, I.

:: 15:24:19

Speaker 1

Said, so people care about their feelings. And it's like, if you're smart in business, you're going to be cutthroat and you're going to, you.

:: 15:30:15

Speaker 2

Know, I, I think I was oh, sorry, was the thing. And so I never thought of it like that. I just wanted the best of my people. I wanted to get the results fast.

:: 15:36:23

Speaker 1

It's not that you're trying to make other people fail you just trying to do you.

:: 15:39:20

Speaker 2

Just trying to make, like, give the best possible services to my people always has been like, you know, I'm a solutions focused person. I always have been.

:: 15:46:00

Speaker 1

And never about the money.

:: 15:47:12

Speaker 2

No. And I just.

:: 15:48:18

Speaker 1

That's the.

:: 15:49:01

Speaker 2

Thing. It just happened to me that.

:: 15:50:01

Speaker 1

That's why I was the.

:: 15:50:16

Speaker 2

Cream of it. You know?

:: 15:51:20

Speaker 1

I believe you always do. So well in business because you actually, you actually give so much value to whatever you're doing, whether it's painting, like, you get what everyone needs, that's why you're so good at service. But yeah, whatever my needs. And then you put that together and then you sell it to someone and it's irresistible.

:: 16:10:20

Speaker 2

100%. Because you know what I'm going to give you? I'm going to give you a record. Results fast. Whatever I've done, you know what people need. I know what people need.

:: 16:17:13

Speaker 1

I know, I know people they want what they need.

:: 16:19:17

Speaker 2

Yeah, and I know what people need. I know what you know. I know how to get that, you know? And everything I always do is solutions, bias. And I'm going to rectify that, you know, if that was worth it. So we're now rectify. And

:: 16:30:02

Speaker 1

We're going to be adding a lot of words with you.

:: 16:33:09

Speaker 2

So yeah. So that sort of like, you know, what I did with Kalgoorlie and Fitness and but that led me to my next thing. So after that I was like, cool, what's next? Everything with me has always been what's next? All right. so then I got into the mines and espresso China, and I was just like, Holy shit, this and fucking pretty amazing job.

:: 16:48:12

Speaker 2

And then, I was and, you know, this is a perfect example life setting for you not to. So going into the mines, I was I was promised to go to Barrow Island, and Barrow Island was super excited. I was going to pay everything $90,000. I was with like, you know, all the people that fucking you, you know, if you're a person trying to Barrow Island like you are someone, you know, that those are kind of the world.

:: 17:07:11

Speaker 2

I then so I thought I was like, yes, I'm going to get this. Then a new person jumped in and she was like, oh no, you're not. Yes, I want to start at the bottom and work your way up. You don't get Barrow Island. And I was like pissed off. And I was like, well, where are you sitting, man?

:: 17:18:12

Speaker 2

They took me to a race. I saw it as $75,000. I'm like, well, this is fucking bullshit. I was like, when will I move up to Barrow Island? And, and she said, well, you know, you need to prove yourself now. The crazy thing is, and this is, this is a pivotal moment that life is happening for you.

:: 17:33:16

Speaker 2

There was, every year we do a 12 week program, like a challenge with, your wrist. Where was it? Your snow compass. Where I used to work. Right. Compass. And, I was like, I'm going to win that. My person, whoever it is, I don't know who it is. It is going to win that competition. And this is like thousands and thousands and thousands of people into this competition.

:: 17:54:24

Speaker 2

Okay, so this morning and anyways, I started training these people. So I get into it and so long story short, of course I won because I'm a competitive bitch. And, my guy won. This is now, put me on the road map to the bosses, right? The bosses like, how the fuck is this girl? What's going on?

:: 18:12:14

Speaker 2

How did you how did you do it? And I had a combination of mindset, nutrition and training, and I used to train that guy all the fucking time, and we took it out. We won. Then I said, okay, cool. I say, they said, what do you want? As I want to, I want to go to Barrow Island. And I said, what's your position?

:: 18:27:23

Speaker 2

Barrel? And I won the manager's role. Now like I'm over this side thing. I mean, I've been there for six months. I wanted I wanted more, I want the manager's role at Barrow Island, got interview and stuff for that, but were like, they really wanted a man. Okay, so this is just a typical situation with the client wants a man.

:: 18:42:15

Speaker 2

All right. But she said, look, I've got something else for you, and I don't know if it's going to come to hired you, but I would like to put you forward for we are going to promote our services on oil, on the oil rigs. Your job would be to go out there fucking make everyone fall in love with you.

:: 18:59:06

Speaker 2

I want to buy the program. So they take on our service and I thought, okay, she goes, the only part problem is I think you need a bigger site. I said, well, how many people watch you guys? It's probably about 100. I want to barrel because there's like thousands. Yeah. You know, and I said, well, how much money?

:: 19:12:21

Speaker 2

And she said you'd be $110,000 and $130,000 turn to. And I'm why.

:: 19:20:20

Speaker 1

Sign me up. Yeah.

:: 19:23:07

Speaker 2

So I'm. Yeah, I was like, what, this insane $75,000 to 132 and to let me just put this in two weeks.

:: 19:29:04

Speaker 1

Time, two weeks away one.

:: 19:30:05

Speaker 2

Hundred percent. Let's put this into perspective. If I had gone to Barrow, I never would have been seen. I never would have made it to all at all oil and gas, all the right. And I went from what would have been 95, which I thought was the best option, to 135,000, and that there was, there was two and one.

:: 19:46:17

Speaker 2

And now this was turned to, you know, working.

:: 19:48:14

Speaker 1

Less.

:: 19:49:02

Speaker 2

Working less, more money and all the things. And so much opportunity. And, you know, it didn't change much in your career set off from them. So they sort of have gone to oil and gas again. It'll be a probably a whole nother podcast. But yeah.

:: 19:59:00

Speaker 1

We're going to keep saying that. Yeah, we're going to get you did that for.

:: 20:01:09

Speaker 2

So yeah. So do they fit on and off for ten years. You know what. Not on and off nearly ten years I was offshore. So and that was, you know, time I for my kids that I can never get back in, you know, the swamps of passion about now. Why why do what I do? Because, you know, I don't have any regrets in life, and that is one of them.

:: 20:15:21

Speaker 2

You know.

:: 20:16:10

Speaker 1

We always speak on that.

:: 20:17:10

Speaker 2

That's it. So, it's possible to that. Then Bobby came into my life.

:: 20:21:07

Speaker 1

Boom. Here we go. Yeah, yeah. Dim the lights.

:: 20:25:11

Speaker 2

so Beau walked into my house, broken and fucking all the things. And I'm like, hey, I like to fix humans. Like, come to me. Let me fix you. you know, that was always my fucking view on life. And, so, yeah, he came into my life and, we started a relationship. We were friends for seven years prior to that, and no one was coming.

:: 20:46:02

Speaker 1

Hung out a few times.

:: 20:47:09

Speaker 2

A few times like no one ever seen this coming near the doorway. We always I.

:: 20:50:00

Speaker 1

Still talk about it for.

:: 20:51:10

Speaker 2

Fucking like probably two years. We're like, Holy shit. Like, I can't believe that that's my you're license. Yeah. Oh my God, this is like, you.

:: 20:57:09

Speaker 1

And I were engaged. Yeah.

:: 20:58:15

Speaker 2

Fuck. We know what, kid. Like what? Like how? Yeah.

:: 21:01:14

Speaker 1

Well, I have to.

:: 21:02:11

Speaker 2

Have the.

:: 21:02:19

Speaker 1

Seven. We live in Bali. Yeah.

:: 21:04:11

Speaker 2

You know, like what we told the world. Like, what the fuck is going on? Like, we can't even catch up with our own selves. That's okay.

:: 21:09:19

Speaker 1

Yeah.

:: 21:10:24

Speaker 2

So I knew to be with father who'd want to have his own child.

:: 21:14:20

Speaker 1

With me, you mean?

:: 21:15:20

Speaker 2

Yeah. With him. He wanted to have his own child. The child wanted to have a child. You know, it was my fucking toddler child. This is what I used to call him. So you, me and yes, my daughter. The child. So, yes, Beau wanted to have a baby. And, you know, to put this in context, like I've got a 19 year old now, I've got a 14 year old.

:: 21:35:13

Speaker 2

And to have Harvey was like really crazy, like a, you know, it's 37 years old. I'd had my life with kids. That's not what I wanted. But, you know, I thought if I wanted to stay with Beau, that it would be, you know, he would want to have his own child. And I also knew that I really felt like Beau's type person.

:: 21:51:03

Speaker 2

That would put himself on the backburner if I should want to have a child, if I would have just accepted that to be his truth. And I don't want that for him either. He didn't deserve to have his own child, and I didn't think that was right for me to rob that of him either. And so, you know, I had Harvey just want to say, I fucking love him.

:: 22:05:13

Speaker 2

Amazing. Love Harvey. But, having Harvey brought up everything, so I had to give up my offshore career. everything on you, my financial security. So you can imagine that my past alarm bells, like you can't fucking, you know, ever a man.

:: 22:21:09

Speaker 1

You wanted to travel a bit as well.

:: 22:22:20

Speaker 2

I want to travel like I want to do this, you know? And so. Yeah. So I had to give all that up to have Harvey. Sorry. When I had Harvey.

:: 22:30:13

Speaker 1

Because we were, we were actually simultaneously both Fifo for a while. We actually, even sometimes were missing each other. Yeah, I didn't line up. So that was like really hard. And then I started, doing more of, like, a swing around you because I had a really good boss. And then, and then I would have your kids while you were away, and.

:: 22:51:10

Speaker 1

Yeah, it was really. It was really good. But, then what? We should actually, we should probably go into the Covid swing a it's really important.

:: 23:00:24

Speaker 2

Yeah. Okay. So. Right. So, so so Covid swing happened. and it was a time in life where obviously Covid and I was like, I'm going to lose my job. Yeah. And I was like, yes, I'm going to lose my job. Yeah. I'm sorry. Fucking excited to lose my job. I wanted to lose my job. I was like, you know, the whole world's going to go into debt.

:: 23:15:12

Speaker 2

I can go into debt with the world. Like, it's okay. We're all going to be fucked up together now. Sorry. Okay, so there also, I wanted to I literally wanted to, I wanted to coach Ryan kids. I was like, yes, my kids through Covid did business plans. They did business strategy. They had to listen to the secret.

:: 23:29:22

Speaker 2

They had read these books. Like, I didn't get into any of the curriculum, the normal shit. Like I was like, these guys had to come to me with a podcast, with a business plan, like, you know, that's I was excited for this. And I was like, I'm gonna do it online. Fitness, like, this is amazing. But no, unfortunately for me, like, it was like, hey, we're going to take you from your Twitter to, to roster and you're going to go out for six weeks.

:: 23:50:20

Speaker 1

I was originally.

:: 23:51:10

Speaker 2

I was originally going to be 14, you know, then it was on as soon as I hit the news. That was like, what side was the suicide swing? They obviously canceled that. It was it was.

:: 23:59:16

Speaker 1

Because, like, I think you already did most of the Australians natural gas.

:: 24:04:03

Speaker 2

Yeah. So so we couldn't get Covid and.

:: 24:06:08

Speaker 1

They got Covid. They'd have to shut it.

:: 24:07:17

Speaker 2

Yeah. And then the world, like the world got under. So yeah, I was in Central Services.

:: 24:12:24

Speaker 1

Love it. Essential.

:: 24:14:04

Speaker 2

Yes I love it. so yeah I went out to work and it was literally, like the best thing of my life that, that one that I looked after, I was there were fucking for.

:: 24:23:00

Speaker 1

The first minute.

:: 24:24:11

Speaker 2

the food was amazing. We got, like, everything was amazing. I came back looking, banging. I was hot as fuck. Like I was trying. I tried like a motherfucker. Like I was like, you know, I've always been a person. Like, guards work, trying really hard, you know? that was my focus point. My mental health. Everything was around my, you know, I'd go there, I'd go to work to get better, to come home better for my family.

:: 24:44:22

Speaker 2

That was my motto. Yeah. so the first one was awesome. Absolute awesome. Then we had to do another swing and we only had.

:: 24:51:12

Speaker 1

That was only two weeks.

:: 24:52:12

Speaker 2

We only had two weeks off. Had you another swing and everything from day one. We done everything from day one went downhill. my son broke his arm like three days and.

:: 25:03:09

Speaker 1

No break his dick.

:: 25:04:22

Speaker 2

No practice. Take this all.

:: 25:06:10

Speaker 1

Into a playground.

:: 25:07:19

Speaker 2

Yeah, it did that. It was super. Because NAS, the nanny that I had the time wasn't rocking up, like, you know, like, I'm. I'm not sure I was, I was in the mines, like, I just all of a sudden, you were.

:: 25:18:03

Speaker 1

You were doing these long swings, and then I was going away and coming home. Yeah. And then working with no pair who, like, wasn't showing up. Yeah.

:: 25:25:14

Speaker 2

Fucking it was just a very hectic time. So, long story short, I had a full mental breakdown, offshore. And I was like, fuck this. I'm resigning. This is it. I'm fucking out of here. So, long story short, I end up leaving that that session, that that, swing, which was six weeks. And then I came home and I was not in a good place.

:: 25:52:17

Speaker 2

I was super skinny, which was the only thing was give me a life, my training and my eating and staying disciplined. But mentally I just put everything on the backburner. came home, you know, it was my birthday on July 16th.

:: 26:04:23

Speaker 1

We had 20.

:: 26:06:03

Speaker 2

20. We had insane sex in the woods.

:: 26:09:09

Speaker 1

Right? Great sex hobby. And listening to this. And you had,

:: 26:13:23

Speaker 2

You. Harvey was conceived this night for sure. What? Closet? Missing in the closet. Like it's. Sorry. I spit it.

:: 26:20:23

Speaker 1

Out the other end of that.

:: 26:21:17

Speaker 2

Yeah, it's a pivotal fucking moment. We know exactly how that's been. How I know exactly when I was conceived, anyway. And I was like, I'm taking some time off work. Yeah. And then four weeks later, I found out I was pregnant, and I was like, we had planned to have a child maybe start the next year. I just wanted some time off from the life that I had just done for ten years, you know?

:: 26:47:01

Speaker 2

So everything was changing really fast. You know, me and Beau, our life is always in chaos. Everything and everything is fast, you know? So, so fast forward that we had Harvey absolute love and beautiful birth, beautiful pregnancy, amazing relationship.

:: 27:02:13

Speaker 1

Everything was, you know.

:: 27:03:03

Speaker 2

Everything was beautiful. And then I had Harvey and everything came crashing down and I was crying every day. My PTSD was through the roof, I was depressed, I have anxiety, I was crying like it was just it was horrible, was a really horrible time. And I felt so guilty that I had absolutely everything I wanted. I just beautiful baby.

:: 27:23:07

Speaker 2

I had a partner that loves me. I never had experienced love like this before. I'd never experienced love and a relationship with children. Like, I had this beautiful home that I owned or had a beautiful car that we owned with money in the bank. I had. My two other kids were amazing. I had everything.

:: 27:39:17

Speaker 1

I'm asking you. We bought, like a 100 K Mercedes. Right? And, we drove out and I said, are you happy? And you're driving and you're like, yep, yep.

:: 27:50:01

Speaker 2

And then I was dead inside. I was absolutely dead. And, And I felt so guilty for that. I felt so guilty that I said.

:: 27:57:01

Speaker 1

Everything I always wanted.

:: 27:58:03

Speaker 2

Right. I said there, I thought had deer. You had deer. You'd be upset. Had deer. You fucking feel this way. You have everything you ever wanted and still not good enough. And this is this shit that was flying around on my head. And then, yeah, I would later find out that the trauma of, you know, when I was working away, I was just hiding.

:: 28:15:16

Speaker 2

I was just running. It was just another another addiction. You know, my new addiction was keeping busy and also busy that every minute of my life was a cannibal.

:: 28:22:10

Speaker 1

One trauma response, a coping mechanism is keeping busy.

:: 28:25:22

Speaker 2

Yeah. And that's my number one. And, you know, I not only worked offshore, I had businesses always. You know, I, my kids used to be, like, would be going grocery shopping. They were like, mom, you can slow you down, just fucking walk. And I'm like, not really. Like every second accounted for, like.

:: 28:37:16

Speaker 1

Things on their bodies and Spotify.

:: 28:39:12

Speaker 2

You know, constantly on urgency.

:: 28:40:24

Speaker 1

And that's what I noticed about ADHD. You always, you see down the air. Come on. Hurry up Nate. Let's get to the.

:: 28:46:11

Speaker 2

Next.

:: 28:46:17

Speaker 1

Thing. You get in the car, let's hurry up and get home. Everything. You're actually trying to escape the present moment.

:: 28:51:07

Speaker 2

100%. So at that time, I was doing birth work, and I thought birth was a crock. It wasn't for. It was with. Hey, Tom. Hi, friends. Harry, this event that he been at, he came home. He was. He was different. He was talking about this study. Yeah. He was like, yes. My life's been changed. I've taken accountability.

:: 29:07:21

Speaker 2

Like, I forgave myself. I was like, fucking awesome for you. My. And I was annoyed at him at the same time because I was so depressed. And I always said that I wanted a guy that would work on himself, and he was this guy that was working on himself. So where the fuck would I fit into this relationship if my partner actually got good and actually worked on this shit?

:: 29:25:16

Speaker 2

Like, how could I be with a guy that was really doing the work because you had to do.

:: 29:30:00

Speaker 1

Damage to try and fuck that?

:: 29:31:16

Speaker 2

Yeah. Like, you know, I do find it hard sometimes I'm really good when it's like, you know, when things are bad, I'm fixing. Right? You know? So that's the default setting that I'm still working on and trying to work through in my own life. But, yeah. And then all of a sudden, like, you know, he went into this and then he was, training, you know, getting certified, and he was writing books and YouTubes and doing all these things and, going through his courses and everything, and he started training and working with some woman.

:: 29:56:18

Speaker 2

And they were coming into the house and they were coming in like, fucked up, like, you know, men. Yeah. Men and women fucked up. Yeah, exactly. And like, crying and all these things. And then we went into the room and I could hear them, had these big emotional releases, never talking to it. I could not handle it. I had to go down the other side of my.

:: 30:13:10

Speaker 2

I've got enough my own shit going on.

:: 30:14:24

Speaker 1

You didn't understand then. I did not feel like, you know, this is fake or like this. Just like everyone who comes in our socials, they like.

:: 30:20:18

Speaker 2

And let's just my life, like, you know, quite a few months. Like it was a year before I even tried breast like I stole.

:: 30:25:23

Speaker 1

It was close to 12 months of actually me, like doing a daily breathwork practice up until actually.

:: 30:32:13

Speaker 2

Doing a.

:: 30:32:20

Speaker 1

Breast with.

:: 30:33:14

Speaker 2

Yeah, I just couldn't really say it, but.

:: 30:35:13

Speaker 1

I remember you being really hurt and triggered and like, I'd go out and you'd be like, you know what? Yeah, what's going on? I think I want to leave this relationship. And I was like, do you like why? I'm like, I love you. And I was such on my high and in my positive. And you were like, you know, how do we oh, shit going on?

:: 30:50:21

Speaker 1

And then you,

:: 30:51:24

Speaker 2

And I feel bad for that because you are excited about your life. And I was depressed. Normal life, you know, and then I was like, you know, I was fighting with fighting with you because I'm like, you don't understand me. And you're like, well, do perfect. I'm going to fucking join brother. Let's fuck this shit. He's like, well, that's the reason why I can't understand you like you thought.

:: 31:05:08

Speaker 2

The solution? You don't want the solution? Fuck.

:: 31:07:11

Speaker 1

That's right. And the pivotal moment for me was, I remember you went to the doctor.

:: 31:11:16

Speaker 2

Yeah. So I went to the doctor and, you know, and I went there for a completely different reason. and I just had having Harvey was like, six weeks old, you know, some of that maybe three months max. And, and he said to me at the moment, are you feeling like this? And I said, yeah. And he goes, and you want to see you like this.

:: 31:27:12

Speaker 2

And I'm like, yeah. And I was like, all right, I'm going to put you on antidepressants. And I was like, okay. And at that time I was like, fuck it, I'll do anything. Because also use going cool. Give yourself 2 or 3 days, pick yourself up, get over it and move on.

:: 31:40:18

Speaker 1

You can. You also don't like being the, Debbie Downer? And how.

:: 31:45:16

Speaker 2

Did.

:: 31:46:03

Speaker 1

I hide it?

:: 31:46:19

Speaker 2

I thought if you'd.

:: 31:48:01

Speaker 1

Rather remove.

:: 31:49:06

Speaker 2

Yourself.

:: 31:49:23

Speaker 1

From the house and go out so everyone else can be happy because you don't want your negative energy, and we do. We we we we pass it. We we, you know, you you're product of your environment. So you know, when your kids have a grumpy mom or you see you remove yourself.

:: 32:04:02

Speaker 2

So that's what I'm saying. Yeah. That's how you know, that's you know what I did. And so then we went on to, you know, went to get medicated. I brought my pills home and was, you know, you're working the mines and, and I said, no, fuck it. I'm going to go on this medication and, and, you know, you turn me and said, babe, like, I love you.

:: 32:20:11

Speaker 2

You know, I'm going to support you no matter what. But I don't believe that this medication is going to help you. You know, you've got real life things going on. You just had a baby.

:: 32:27:18

Speaker 1

I want to say that again. You had real life shit going on. Yeah. Most of my clients that come to me give me all of their symptoms. But then I'm like, okay, well, let's talk about why the fuck you feel like this. They've got anxiety. They've got they've had death, they've had trauma, real life, grief. They've got shit on process.

:: 32:44:04

Speaker 1

They haven't talked about things. They've got the actual DV going on or relationship issues or kids are driving them crazy. They at holiday in fucking five years, you know, I'm like, okay, let's look at all this. So and then implement the tools. Right 100.

:: 32:55:11

Speaker 2

Percent.

:: 32:55:18

Speaker 1

So you came home and you're like, you know.

:: 32:57:24

Speaker 2

I just I just wanted to stop I just wanted to feel better. I didn't want to be poisoned. I don't want to be the rotten fruit poisoning or the other fruit.

:: 33:04:09

Speaker 1

And, you know, and myself.

:: 33:05:23

Speaker 2

But but, you know, by the time I didn't care enough about myself, I cared about how was it?

:: 33:09:03

Speaker 1

And that's the issue when people come to me and and to us, the problem is it's had to take them some time to go. I want to work on myself because you can do everything to all the people around your family. Remove yourself from them, you can give them money, you can do this and that. But until you fix yourself, then you directly start helping the people around you and you've got to want to for yourself.

:: 33:30:10

Speaker 2

One.

:: 33:30:12

Speaker 1

Hundred percent. And I've always said that like, you're never going to work on yourself if you're here to be a better mum and you need to walk through the fucking door again because I tell people, get out. And now what do you mean? I said, you're not here to be a better mother. Oh, that's what I want to do.

:: 33:40:11

Speaker 1

I said, you need to come here and put in the work because you want to be a better you. You want to put in the actual work for yourself and put yourself first and love yourself and fill up your own cup and actually heal because you're too worried about the external. But I'll never forget the time the sat down on the couch next to me and you said, fuck it, I'll try breathwork.

:: 33:57:09

Speaker 1

And that's the thing, right? Human beings need breaking point. Well, I want to go, oh, I don't fucking do.

:: 34:02:21

Speaker 2

So I was literally like, I'm going to end my life.

:: 34:06:08

Speaker 1

I do breathwork.

:: 34:07:16

Speaker 2

Breathwork, you know, and I was at it was literally that severe, you know, and again, like I used to sit there and pitch on myself being did and it on a Facebook being like I had no fucking idea. Like what, what like how what you know. And the thing is, no one would know what.

:: 34:23:15

Speaker 1

I felt like. I couldn't fix you in any other way. Yeah. I felt like I had this tool and.

:: 34:27:06

Speaker 2

You know, you were having so many arguments. And at that time, you know, I was like, I want to give a fucking fly for you to do breathwork. And I was like, what a crock of shit. You know, fucking during this, you got a family to feed. Like, you know, I knew I couldn't rely on you. And so, you know, after all of this, after one pivotal day, like just losing it, final day of breathwork.

:: 34:44:04

Speaker 2

And, so I got into that session with bone Bow being my partner. I had to really like the.

:: 34:51:08

Speaker 1

Person you're talking to.

:: 34:52:11

Speaker 2

Yeah, I had to. Well, I had to switch off that. You went, boy. You went for, like, I had to pretend that you was somebody else. Yeah. You know, and I went into that session and I lied down and I started breathing. And for the first time in life, I truly felt the emotion that was in me and a physical and a physical sense.

:: 35:14:09

Speaker 2

Like, it was like the feeling was a physical feeling. Now that was like a world pen world when pen thing. Oh my stomach. Beautiful. Yeah. Swirling around and the physical pain of physical pain. And then I'd like this, this feeling, this emotion, this energy went up into my, hands. And instead of my hands and my belief system, my whole life has been the pain made me stronger.

:: 35:38:00

Speaker 2

And I can guarantee you I fucking put my money onto that. Anything bad ever happened to me, I got better, I got hotter, I made more money. It was a number one thing, my revenge in life. And I've always said this. The best revenge in life is ultimate success and happiness. And that is the best revenge.

:: 35:55:11

Speaker 1

Get better when you get better. Spend less time, get better.

:: 35:58:13

Speaker 2

Stop fucking putting your energy into like bringing someone else down and make them feel your pain yourself up. Right yourself up, you know so. And when you burn.

:: 36:05:11

Speaker 1

Yourself up, you stop caring about hurting.

:: 36:07:14

Speaker 2

People.

:: 36:07:24

Speaker 1

You want them to come up.

:: 36:08:22

Speaker 2

With. That's it. So I lived my life for that. So the pain sat on my hands and I said to myself, it's okay, you can let this go now. Yeah. And it flung through my fingertips and I looked up at Beau, and I was sitting there and I said to him, you can never go back to the minds ever again.

:: 36:26:03

Speaker 2

The world needs to know this.

:: 36:27:17

Speaker 1

And that was like a moment for me.

:: 36:30:14

Speaker 2

Well, he burst into tears because we're having so many fights.

:: 36:34:01

Speaker 1

Well, I was on the phone. You away? we're going to talk about going viral and social media as well, because I was getting so much attention and views online, but my own partner at home wasn't for it. And I was like, you know, I need you to jump on this train with me. You know, we can do this.

:: 36:52:11

Speaker 2

That life is not for me, you know?

:: 36:54:05

Speaker 1

So and we did pivot and shift. So I'm actually business after that. So it took for me to show you this and then you're like yeah, yeah I used to hear this.

:: 37:02:09

Speaker 2

And it was the first time of my life, like, I've done everything. Everything that I've overcome, everything I've been through, you know, I've done Reiki, kinesiology, talk therapy, millions of hours of talk therapy. I've done every self-development course that ever came out. I went to every inspirational influencer I've read, every book that you can think of, anything new that came out.

:: 37:21:11

Speaker 2

I wanted to know more. I wanted to understand, and was the first time in my life that I truly felt a release and a reset, and so much so that from that moment I got, I say, I'm selling the house, I'm selling the car. I don't want it. I stopped getting like, now I took off my fake extensions, my eyelashes, I went complete, I was reborn, I was completely and I just didn't want any of the materialistic shit anymore, you know?

:: 37:46:16

Speaker 2

And it's it's crazy. And that's. How are we going to is how are we going to breath mix how I got to breathwork, you know, and I really have to think my part of that because it's ultimately changed the, my, the shape of my life, the confidence I have now, the confidence I have now, the coach who I am now, the person I am now.

:: 38:01:13

Speaker 2

It really comes down to to bow and boys big belief and being able to to jump and and do these things, you know.

:: 38:09:13

Speaker 1

And but and we're going to talk exactly about this on our next podcast. We're going to talk about business and how we started believe a label and how you did that. Being a mom with me work in a way, before the transition of breathwork and believe label gave us the confidence to do you believe in your breath and how we started doing events?

:: 38:28:02

Speaker 1

And we started that with nine people in the kitchen going to 200 people in Gold Coast. So yeah, but we are going to wrap up this one and, I love you, I love you, and I really appreciate you and doing this with you. It's amazing. But, for everyone listening, thank you so much. spill the tea.

:: 38:46:14

Speaker 1

Don't forget to like and subscribe. Also, follow us on social as we go at Believe in Your Breath. We have. I am, by jury, and I am Kirsty Waddingham on Instagram as well. Love it. Big love, big love. Let's go.