#8 HOW HYPNOTHERAPY CHANGED OUR LIVES with Juliet Lever and Paul Eliseo

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were you guys in that training

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where student tried to convince Paul

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that they couldn't change

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and he just said I don't fucking play that shit

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ah ah

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Alrighty guys

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welcome back to another episode of spill the tea

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except we're not in Bali today

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we are in Adelaide we have some amazing people with us

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and I wanna give it over to Kirsty to introduce them

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so let's go awesome

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so welcome to the incredible Joe

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Julia and Paul

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world renowned NLP and headmotherapy educators

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and co authors of the best

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sell it evolve your mind

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we're so so

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so excited to have you both here

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for those who don't know

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me and bro both got certified in NLP and hemotherapy

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with these two incredible humans in front of you

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and we're about to take it to the next level

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and do our advance hit know

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which we cannot wait to do

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and also

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we've got several of our Webra Success Communities

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members now doing their courses as well

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so

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we would love to introduce these two beautiful people

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welcome guys thank you so much for having us

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we're excited to be here today

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yeah this is fun

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and I love how we got the matching

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outfit to the gender as well

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we're definitely in rapport

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we are and guys

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this wasn't planned we just all showed up this way

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same outfit

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love it so um

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with anyone that's in this type of space

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hypnotherapy courses um

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NLP breathwork anything like that

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we all have a powerful story of why and how we got here

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so I'd love to hear from you both

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like how did you get into the space and why

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what was the reason

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I think like for a lot of people it was from necessity

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um in my late teens

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early 20s I suffered from really bad panic attacks

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anxiety and even to the point of no really bad paranoia

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and I got to

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the point where I couldn't even leave my bedroom

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I was totally afraid of the world

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um basically a recluse

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and then I got to the point where

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I had to just do something about it

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and I went to the traditional method

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going to see doctors and all that

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and they wanted to make the joke

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they want to stick tubes up both ends

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but they didn't want to find out what was

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really inside of me if you know what I mean

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yeah and so um

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one day I stumbled into a library

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and that just opened up a whole series of me

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finding little droplets of seeds

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that started getting me to look inside and learn more

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and become educated

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and then I started doing some self hypnosis

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found some

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you know self development courses and things like that

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and then dramatically

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I went from a kid that couldn't leave his bedroom

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to work in the biggest gym in South Australia

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like really quickly wow

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and then basically just got obsessed with learning

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the more I worked on myself

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the more I learnt the better my life got

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and then pretty quickly

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I started teaching other trainers

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and then have other people sending their clients to me

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in the wanting to learn from me

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and then just kind of snowballed from there

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and uh now

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I get to teach

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the kind of tools that help me change my life

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and super inspiring

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to see people that have gone through things

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like I did or even

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you know bigger and completely turn their life around

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so it's been pretty fun to to go on the journey

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especially with my beautiful partner as well

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oh and I think it's so inspiring

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because you started so young

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like you've been doing this work now nearly 20 years

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and that knowledge that you have

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has just compounded and built into now

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I see you and you one of your best skills is like

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taking the most complex concepts

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and being able to

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articulate them in a way that just lands

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and is so simple and easy for people to apply

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and understand practically

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yeah my story started About 10 years ago now

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I was in a really different situation

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where I had kind of built my whole life as a woman

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ticking all of the societal boxes

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I got married I had a good paying job

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I had a nice car nice house

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all of those things external success

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but inside I was not happy or fulfilled

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and I had such bad anxiety and I didn't understand it

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and the anxiety now when I look back

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is such a gift that I had it

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because I knew I didn't wanna medicate it away

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everything I did to try to heal my own anxiety

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and understand it LED me to a place where

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in the space of 12 months

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I ended my marriage

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and then I started my life coaching business

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and it was six months after I ended my marriage

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that I actually met this beautiful man next to me

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and we had just this moment

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where our souls really saw each other

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and it was like meeting your best friend

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and realising why no one

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or nothing has ever felt right before

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and we've literally been inseparable ever since

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and now still pinch myself everyday

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because it's been 10 years now

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and I get to share the tools that help me heal myself

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with my partner in crime

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and we get to have this ripple effect

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where we've now trained hundreds

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if not thousands of students worldwide

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and it's it's the tools and the skills that helped us

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and that's why we're so passionate about

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making it accessible making it easy

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making it fun not making it this big

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I think what I found along my journey of self healing

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which continues to this day

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we're never done but what I found was

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there were so many people in the healing

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work that had this philosophy

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or idea that healing has to be traumatic

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yes hundred percent and

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and the hypnotherapy training

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I studied the hypnotherapy training that you taught

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like 10 years ago now

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and I just remember on day one of that training

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I felt at home in my body and my nervous system

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for the first time in my adult life

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and I just thought

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it doesn't matter that I haven't been to uni for 4

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or 5 years I can help people with these things

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and it was profound and so

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I'm so glad that you both have had a similar experience

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with especially the hypnotherapy

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I think the NLP helps your mind

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and understanding how we recreate things

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with our thoughts and our speech

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but the hypnotherapy

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really helps bridge that unconscious gap

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and the misalignment so

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it's been a wild ride

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I love that and you know what

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so on hepnotherapy so I truly don't believe

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and we didn't understand hepnotherapy until we did it

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and you know

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I really want to and I'll pay with you guys

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and you're like hey

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hepnotherapy is coming up first

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you wanna do it and I was just like nah

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lucky not because I thought hepnotherapy

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literally was on the stage

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cracking like a duck that's what

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you know you know

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that's the type of hypnotherapy you hear

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you don't hear about hypnotherapy like this

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and then we did it and me and bro

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we went in there to be better coaches for our clients

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and Day 2 were in fetal position

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like we're like what is going on now

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and I think Paul like

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you're such a gift to the world

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and how you deliver this um

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I think you've made hepnotherapy modern fun

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easy to understand but just the way that you deliver it

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it's not it's hard

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it's mind blowing it

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it's even hard to even articulate

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you know you took me through a process where

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you know I was so scared of choking and

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and that was my entire life um

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you know it was ruining things with my partner

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and I couldn't have dinner with my kids anymore

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and this had been going on for many

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many years and as you know

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my eldest kids 19 and that's when it really started

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and then I had Harvey at three

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and it was so bad that I could have dinner with my kids

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and then I did that insane hypnotherapy session with

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you live

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and now I can eat with my kids

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hmm and it's like you're even

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you're even more chill around

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like she hates being on the scooter in Bali

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yeah after hypnotherapy

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she was more chill in the back

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usually she would tighten up or be like

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watch out and slow down and yeah

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and and then went after the hypnotherapy session

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she was like relaxed and felt free

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and I'm like yeah

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it's crazy right

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so but um

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a few things

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I'm gonna share today

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is some things that I've learnt from you

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and I won't steal your quotes

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but one thing for people listening

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who don't really understand hypnotherapy

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you're working with the unconscious mind

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which 90 to 99%

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really 100% of your mind is unconsciously programmed

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especially for the years from 1 to 7 right

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and I like to say

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when you're hypnotized by your parents

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by your schooling by media

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by constant influences from child till now

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it's almost like I'm hypnotizing yourself

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which is what you said

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and I find that the best way to explain hypnotherapy

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because we're being hypnotized everyday

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you know and a lot of people who come to us

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obviously they've got issues right

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they got anxiety there no self worth

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no confidence

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so they're hypnotized to think they have this anxiety

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and think they have depression

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and then they go on a Tangent

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on ruminating on their problems and googling them

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and going to doctors who then confirm and cement yes

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you have this disorder and you have problems

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and you need medication

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so then their unconscious minds more like yep

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and brings more symptoms forward yep

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for for you it's like you turn to someone and you go

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but then how do you really feel and what happens here

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and then and then you like

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bring all these thoughts forward

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that they've never had before

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and then it allows them to go well

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we're not hypnotizing where you are hypnotizing

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and I like that term a lot better

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cause it's like it's like

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it's so true because you you only know what you know

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and what I always say to people when they come to me

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I'm like they're like

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yeah but I'm not good enough or whatever

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they're like certain they're not good enough

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they're certain

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they can't start a million dollar business

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they're certain that they're

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they're never gonna find love or whatever

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the thing is that they want

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and I'm like

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it's kinda like grabbing a person and going

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the sky's not actually blue

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oh what the fuck you talking about

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what do you mean so the sky

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the sky's not blue is actually red

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you've been lied to your whole life

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this is a Truman Show whatever

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you know and it's like

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I try and explain to people that sometimes

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what's happening with you

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you you

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you think the sky is blue

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but it's not the sky can be any fucking colour you want

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it's just words that have been made up by people

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and then pass down the human

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English language and I'm like

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when you actually open yourself up where

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which is

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gonna take me to my second thing that you taught me

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the more you learn like you guys said

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constant work Julian

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as he said before like

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you know you're

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you're you're

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it never stops the more you learn

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the more you don't realize you don't know

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and that's another thing I

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learnt from you the more you learn and and it's like

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the more you learn out of a car

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you go whoa

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there's I never knew that and then you go holy shit

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there's so much learn to know about a diesel car

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and now there's so much to learn about electric car

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and what what else is out there

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so the more more learning you do

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the more open job to go I actually know nothing yeah

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about everything

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and that's a really powerful place to be

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cause sometimes the certainty that clients have

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in their problems is what reinforces the problem

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because like you said

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when they have embrace the uncertainty

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the more uncertainty you can embrace

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the more you can learn and more you can change

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if you're like this is it

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I'm locked in and your programming is certain

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you're not gonna look for alternatives

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you just delete the store and generalize it

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so you only show yourself how you're not good enough

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when there's infinite possibilities of how you are

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and so yeah

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really being able to step into the uncertainty

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and being cool with that because if you want to change

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you need to you need to step into something new

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which therefore goes against what you know yes

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the unknown is the uncertain

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and if you're comfortable in that

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you learn you grow and the more you learn

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the more you grow and the more uncomfortable you are

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the easier it is to grow right yes

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but is that that little shake up

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and I think for a lot of people

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what they think hypnosis is

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like you said this huge misconception

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but it's everything that you've been encountered with

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in your life every word

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every interaction is getting laid into you

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and it becomes your map and mortal for reality

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and for a lot of people

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the map and model that were given is

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for an outdated world from people that weren't

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weren't taught how to teach you how to learn

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yes

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and they hand down the map they got from their parents

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or their grandparents

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for a world that doesn't exist anymore

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yeah a lot of those rules are outdated

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a lot of those rules and ways to keep you safe

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and survive in those worlds are given to you

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and then you try to navigate inside that model

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and it just doesn't work and for a lot of people

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it becomes a trap and so

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really just hope

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helping them to step into what's possible for them

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and undo some of their programming

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and really choose to design their life

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versus just run their default programs

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so that's one of the big things that we look at

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I just wanna add as well

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what I've witnessed in the last 10 years

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in supporting you in teaching

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especially your hypnotherapy training

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but also now teaching part of it is

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it's not just a hypnotherapy training

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there are hypnotherapy trainees out there

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where you read a piece of paper

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what I witnessed last week

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in the last practitioner training

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was a radical shift of consciousness

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of the group of people in that training

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it's beyond that

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and the skills and the tools that I think

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equips the coach with we were talking about earlier

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boy like knowing and having that

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knowing and certainty

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that your client walks in with their problem

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and their solution and knowing that

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the tools that I think

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you teach in your hypnotherapy training

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empower the coach to know that at the deepest level

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that their client has the solution inside of them

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and that's such a healing space for the client

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and the coach I think to step yeah

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so that's magic it will but all of our trainings

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even when I learnt how to teach

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a lot of the stuff that I teach

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which isn't what I teach now

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cause I've changed a lot over the years of course

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and I realised I could teach techniques to people

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and they would get the result based on what

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was still happening inside them

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I'm like okay

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so I can give anyone a technique

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but they're still gonna reflect

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and bounce off their client

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so what I really need to do as a teacher

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is to get people's certainty confidence

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belief in themself and their client to level up

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and that's why we kind of build the evolve state that

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that way of thinking where you can see

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past the person's presenting problems

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and see their potential and know

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and believe in that

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more than they believe in their problem

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because whenever you interact with any person

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is a hypnotic battle going on

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and it's a is either a win win

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where they walk out with their problem gone

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and you walk out with a result

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or it's a lose lose where they walk out

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and they convince you that they can't change yep

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so really just cranking up

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your belief in the person's ability to change

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is something that we build as a foundation

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for everything we teach were

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you guys in that training

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where student tried to convince Paul

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that they couldn't change

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and he just said I don't fucking play that shit

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he's like let's get in there and let's sort it out

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yeah know and yeah

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I think that knowing that you have is um

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and like you said it's not common

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I literally talk to a lady

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two days ago

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who had studied diploma of hypnotherapy elsewhere

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she didn't wanna name the company

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and I wouldn't do that on this anyway

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but she

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she literally said a lot of things and she was like

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well I just basically had a client come in

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I they didn't fit my piece of paper

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I didn't know what to do yeah

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I'm like wow

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that's what they get for the yes

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the high level training that they've done

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and like we literally do not look at a piece of paper

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the whole course cause your client helps you to build

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the session as you go and really

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she was asking about some of the challenges

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she was having I'm like

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did your course teach you about your beliefs

440

:: 14:59

and how you are projecting onto your client

441

:: 15:01

and your

442

:: 15:02

your clients will not go where you don't think they can

443

:: 15:04

and she's like no

444

:: 15:06

I'm like you did a whole course

445

:: 15:07

I didn't talk about that I'm like

446

:: 15:08

that is the foundation like perception is projection

447

:: 15:10

your limitations will show up in your clients

448

:: 15:12

and until you shift in yourself

449

:: 15:14

they will not let their problem go

450

:: 15:15

if you think they can't and she was like

451

:: 15:17

oh my god I didn't know that

452

:: 15:18

and then like I was just like

453

:: 15:20

what are other people teaching out there

454

:: 15:22

yeah you know

455

:: 15:23

this was a high level certification

456

:: 15:25

that cost way more than what we charged

457

:: 15:27

yeah and they walk away with so much less

458

:: 15:28

and it's like this is why when people come to me now

459

:: 15:30

I've done hypnotherapy I'm like

460

:: 15:32

I know you had have you done paused

461

:: 15:35

you need to come up with another name for you

462

:: 15:37

because it's something else

463

:: 15:38

one thing as well is I feel like you guys have nailed

464

:: 15:43

and it doesn't matter what industry you're in

465

:: 15:45

is community and support yeah

466

:: 15:47

so when I was in that course for that week

467

:: 15:51

I felt like uh

468

:: 15:52

by the end of the week

469

:: 15:53

I was in there with my best friends

470

:: 15:54

and I felt so comfortable

471

:: 15:56

and I still um

472

:: 15:57

am really good

473

:: 15:58

friends with a lot of the people that are in there

474

:: 16:00

including the um

475

:: 16:02

trainers that you guys have in your roller crew yeah

476

:: 16:05

and I feel like that's what we are about

477

:: 16:07

we're about creating community

478

:: 16:09

networking and we're having

479

:: 16:11

we said when it was ending yeah

480

:: 16:14

and when it ends

481

:: 16:15

it's like you guys do this Celebration you get on zoom

482

:: 16:18

you put all the the hat the hats on through the um

483

:: 16:21

the what are they called filters

484

:: 16:22

filters

485

:: 16:23

and and you have a good time and like always say um

486

:: 16:28

this sounds fucking cliche and stupid

487

:: 16:31

but you make learning fun

488

:: 16:32

you do and and

489

:: 16:33

and I feel like one easy and easy to understand

490

:: 16:36

and one module that I always say

491

:: 16:38

like one of my friends

492

:: 16:40

Mick just did your course and he absolutely is yeah

493

:: 16:42

it changed like he said

494

:: 16:45

when when I went into your course

495

:: 16:46

I went in with a bit of ego like yeah

496

:: 16:47

I'm just gonna learn some more and help more people

497

:: 16:49

and then I did so much of my own work

498

:: 16:51

and that's when I can when I fill my own cup up

499

:: 16:54

then I'm shining brightly for the clients

500

:: 16:56

like you said if

501

:: 16:57

you're not doing all these limitating things on

502

:: 16:59

yourself

503

:: 17:00

then you're only gonna take your client that far yeah

504

:: 17:02

but you know these people going into these um

505

:: 17:04

courses and there you know

506

:: 17:07

I like when me and Kirsty went in

507

:: 17:08

we're like yeah

508

:: 17:09

this is gonna be like educational

509

:: 17:10

we got all these books and like

510

:: 17:11

we're in fetal position on brakes yeah

511

:: 17:14

holy shit I didn't realize this

512

:: 17:16

and then but also this is the best

513

:: 17:19

yeah yeah

514

:: 17:19

and I'm like and I'm like

515

:: 17:20

oh and you going together like

516

:: 17:21

oh my God I've just realized this

517

:: 17:23

and and I I truly believe every single coach out there

518

:: 17:29

has got to do hypnotherapy with you guys

519

:: 17:32

because I thought breathwork was the game changer

520

:: 17:35

we were like

521

:: 17:36

that is the secret weapon no one knows about

522

:: 17:38

and don't get me wrong

523

:: 17:39

it absolutely is for somatic and processing

524

:: 17:42

and your breath flows

525

:: 17:44

adding hypnotherapy and breathwork

526

:: 17:47

you're unstoppable are you guys using your breath too

527

:: 17:49

you know like take a deep breath or whatever

528

:: 17:51

like it's all mixed pieces of the puzzle yes

529

:: 17:54

you wait till we

530

:: 17:55

cause you haven't got all the pieces of the puzzle yet

531

:: 17:57

in advance hypno

532

:: 17:58

we do embody cognition we do present moment awareness

533

:: 18:01

and so when you take that stuff

534

:: 18:02

and the rest of the brain stem model

535

:: 18:03

that I start teaching at the first level yeah

536

:: 18:06

you guys are gonna be like

537

:: 18:06

what the fuck it's a whole it's a like

538

:: 18:09

but that's already at the first level zero

539

:: 18:12

cause people like

540

:: 18:13

I didn't know that this happens in a human awareness

541

:: 18:16

like I didn't know how much

542

:: 18:17

I was going into trance all the time

543

:: 18:18

I didn't realise that

544

:: 18:19

every time I'm having an emotional response

545

:: 18:21

I'm regressing in my nervous system and I'm triggered

546

:: 18:23

I'm not present in the moment

547

:: 18:24

I'm fuckin a two year old

548

:: 18:26

with some trauma going on in the background

549

:: 18:28

yeah open my this

550

:: 18:29

and people start realising how much

551

:: 18:31

when they talk to their friend

552

:: 18:32

their friends back on the beach

553

:: 18:33

tell them about the holiday

554

:: 18:34

they're not here talking to you

555

:: 18:35

they're off somewhere else

556

:: 18:36

and so like

557

:: 18:38

people just realise how much the human interaction

558

:: 18:41

how much basic English language is hypnotic and they go

559

:: 18:44

wow I didn't realise that it was this powerful

560

:: 18:47

and I don't think I I will go as far as saying

561

:: 18:50

most hypnotherapy courses out there

562

:: 18:52

do not even realise that themselves

563

:: 18:53

most hypnotic teachers don't realise the

564

:: 18:56

capacity of what's possible with hypnotherapy

565

:: 18:58

and so they stick to a piece of paper

566

:: 19:00

they give the power to the words on the paper

567

:: 19:02

not the client

568

:: 19:03

I don't realize your magic that can happen in interim

569

:: 19:05

but it would be similar for you guys in your industry

570

:: 19:07

you have so many people say

571

:: 19:09

I've been to breath work and it's not like this

572

:: 19:10

yes so that's what it is

573

:: 19:12

so

574

:: 19:12

I feel like you have evolved it and you've adapted it

575

:: 19:15

and you're helping people as well

576

:: 19:16

in your breathwork sessions

577

:: 19:18

actually break through the patterns

578

:: 19:19

because I've been to regular breathwork sessions

579

:: 19:22

where the same people are working with the same

580

:: 19:25

responses

581

:: 19:25

the same patterns year after year after a year

582

:: 19:28

and they're not actually evolving

583

:: 19:29

they're not actually clear

584

:: 19:30

they're not evolving and changes

585

:: 19:31

so habit diving as we learn shit diving yeah

586

:: 19:34

so combining the skills allows the hundred percent

587

:: 19:36

and like we're always like I always say

588

:: 19:38

we don't do goal setting and we breathe success

589

:: 19:40

we don't do goal setting we do habit changes yes

590

:: 19:43

we break through patterns because

591

:: 19:45

because nothing everyone does a goal first of January

592

:: 19:48

all the goals come out and I'm like okay

593

:: 19:50

and day 5 you're back in the thing

594

:: 19:52

because you haven't changed the default settings

595

:: 19:54

you haven't broken through the patterns and the habits

596

:: 19:56

the reason why you do the shit you fucking do for years

597

:: 19:58

I'd write a to do list or a goal list and

598

:: 20:01

and I would feel good at the moment

599

:: 20:02

so I'm like ah

600

:: 20:03

that's out of my head yeah

601

:: 20:04

and then next week I'm like okay

602

:: 20:06

and I'd literally just copy and paste and be like

603

:: 20:08

this is Nick yeah okay

604

:: 20:10

what's this week's uh

605

:: 20:11

it's exactly the same as the first week

606

:: 20:13

so copy

607

:: 20:14

paste and then just do another week of procrastinating

608

:: 20:17

but I think NLP also taught me um

609

:: 20:20

like what you were saying what the the um

610

:: 20:23

you know therapist or whatever you wanna call yourself

611

:: 20:26

you know when you're working with a client

612

:: 20:27

knowing your own stuff like we worked out

613

:: 20:29

like when you order coffee

614

:: 20:31

you go through systems yes

615

:: 20:32

every decision you make is a structured system

616

:: 20:35

and then if you don't

617

:: 20:37

if that system's not working for you

618

:: 20:39

then like the way you do one thing

619

:: 20:42

is the way you do everything in your life yes

620

:: 20:43

the way you make your bed is the way you do business

621

:: 20:45

the way you do business how you treat yourself

622

:: 20:46

how you treat yourself how you treat other people

623

:: 20:48

and if those systems are so unconscious and habitable

624

:: 20:53

then that's why like nothing changes

625

:: 20:55

like you said

626

:: 20:55

you see the same people coming to breathwork

627

:: 20:57

and we do we get the same people coming year after year

628

:: 20:59

after year to our events

629

:: 21:01

and they put their hand up

630

:: 21:02

and they're sharing basically

631

:: 21:03

the exact same thing they did two years ago

632

:: 21:05

but in different language

633

:: 21:08

yeah well

634

:: 21:08

the action take action taken is the main thing

635

:: 21:11

but you've got to change well

636

:: 21:12

I believe environments yes

637

:: 21:14

yes I think habits are massive

638

:: 21:16

but I think for me this work

639

:: 21:18

whatever you wanna call it

640

:: 21:19

transformational work no matter what tools you're using

641

:: 21:22

I truly believe you have to work with the mind

642

:: 21:25

you have to work with the body in the nervous system

643

:: 21:27

and then you have to have some sort of strategy

644

:: 21:29

yeah some sort of plan

645

:: 21:30

and that's why we try and work with all three now

646

:: 21:32

believe in your breath to get people

647

:: 21:33

really into the ultimate success

648

:: 21:36

but honestly I think you guys will agree

649

:: 21:39

not no one knows enough about the nervous system

650

:: 21:42

cause the nervous system everything

651

:: 21:43

no one knows enough about themselves

652

:: 21:45

yeah well

653

:: 21:46

you know we go to school

654

:: 21:47

we learn about all these fucking things

655

:: 21:50

but we don't we walk away

656

:: 21:51

we were talking about like

657

:: 21:53

when's the last time you used a parallelogram

658

:: 21:55

yeah like everyone knows it like

659

:: 21:56

you know like we have parallelograms and like

660

:: 21:59

when the fuck have I needed a parallelogram

661

:: 22:00

but no one taught me about how powerful my words are

662

:: 22:03

no one taught me about

663

:: 22:04

when I have an emotional response

664

:: 22:06

how to regulate myself or

665

:: 22:07

how to notice the patterns

666

:: 22:08

that are happening in my world

667

:: 22:10

and stop blaming everyone else and go okay

668

:: 22:12

well why does those people keep showing up like that

669

:: 22:15

in my world and know what's that all about

670

:: 22:18

and unfortunately

671

:: 22:18

that's why so many people have lots to learning

672

:: 22:20

because their school experience wasn't productive

673

:: 22:23

it wasn't supportive and then

674

:: 22:25

people will come into our courses and

675

:: 22:27

bring all of those hangovers from

676

:: 22:29

what they experienced in school

677

:: 22:30

and project that we're their high school teacher

678

:: 22:33

or their mommy and dad mom or dad or something

679

:: 22:35

is that one of our pre frames is look

680

:: 22:36

we're just two humans

681

:: 22:37

trying to help you learn some cool shit

682

:: 22:39

to help you change your life

683

:: 22:41

and um

684

:: 22:41

and we're not your parents

685

:: 22:42

we're not your school teacher anything like that

686

:: 22:44

but though making learning fun again

687

:: 22:48

it does sound so cliche but it's so important

688

:: 22:50

because we're always either growing or dying right

689

:: 22:53

that's why we say when you come to breathwork

690

:: 22:55

it's not confronting

691

:: 22:56

I'm scared of what will come out of me

692

:: 22:58

I'm like

693

:: 22:58

I'm more scared of what your life is gonna be like

694

:: 23:00

if you keep holding it

695

:: 23:01

scary and not to know what's in there yeah

696

:: 23:03

and you know and I think that's probably

697

:: 23:05

one of the biggest things we have

698

:: 23:06

at our at our events

699

:: 23:07

so like making killing fun like you said before

700

:: 23:10

like the trauma doesn't have to be scary

701

:: 23:12

like you've already had the scary moment

702

:: 23:14

that the trauma really happened

703

:: 23:16

you know something yeah now we're gonna break it

704

:: 23:18

and I think this is a big thing as well

705

:: 23:20

like one thing

706

:: 23:20

a hammer in my course is show me your problem yeah

707

:: 23:23

like I this is not a downplaying your experience

708

:: 23:27

this is not a downplaying how you feel in the moment

709

:: 23:30

but for a lot of people we're building this reality

710

:: 23:32

out of something

711

:: 23:32

that is literally a neurological experience

712

:: 23:34

of physical experience and then we build a label on it

713

:: 23:37

we build a whole reality around

714

:: 23:38

and build an identity out of it

715

:: 23:39

but like no one of them work with this

716

:: 23:41

now to show me their actual problem

717

:: 23:43

they'll point at their body they'll point at their head

718

:: 23:45

they'll walk into the space

719

:: 23:46

they'll draw on the ground and go

720

:: 23:47

oh look at this

721

:: 23:48

and I go well

722

:: 23:49

there's nothing wrong with that

723

:: 23:50

it's what you think and feel about that

724

:: 23:51

that's the association you have to it

725

:: 23:54

it's the story you tell yourself

726

:: 23:55

it's the beliefs

727

:: 23:56

and all of the things you're making that mean

728

:: 23:58

but it's literally a

729

:: 24:00

you're sitting in a chair as an adult

730

:: 24:01

you're lying on the floor as an adult

731

:: 24:03

or even if you're younger than that

732

:: 24:04

like it is you playing a movie in your mind

733

:: 24:08

that's bringing up the emotions

734

:: 24:09

yeah you're totally safe right now

735

:: 24:11

it's just

736

:: 24:12

you keep replaying the worst part of your movie

737

:: 24:15

yeah and you haven't

738

:: 24:16

you haven't zoomed out the context

739

:: 24:17

you haven't seen how

740

:: 24:18

that was vital and important in your journey

741

:: 24:21

you haven't seen how that built your character

742

:: 24:23

and was vital in your growth

743

:: 24:24

you haven't seen how without that

744

:: 24:25

you wouldn't be where you are today

745

:: 24:27

so you haven't taken the learnings and lessons

746

:: 24:29

so you just your mind and body keep showing it to you

747

:: 24:32

cause there's something to learn there

748

:: 24:33

but you're making it mean that you're a bad person

749

:: 24:34

or you're not good enough or anything like that

750

:: 24:36

and once the people can actually witness it

751

:: 24:39

be present with it

752

:: 24:41

the cave they fear to enter

753

:: 24:42

holds the treasures they seek

754

:: 24:43

and with the light of their awareness

755

:: 24:45

the I call them shadow monsters

756

:: 24:47

you know and you wake up in the midnight uh

757

:: 24:49

there's a monster in the room

758

:: 24:50

turn the light on it disappears

759

:: 24:52

when you actually at present and witness your

760

:: 24:55

you know illusions of a problem

761

:: 24:57

they they transform they disappear

762

:: 24:58

and I love how you called it transformative work

763

:: 25:01

because it's changing the energy in the form of it

764

:: 25:03

you liberate the energy and then you can create new

765

:: 25:05

and so for a lot of people

766

:: 25:07

just actually realizing that

767

:: 25:09

the stories they told themselves

768

:: 25:11

the associations to have are just basically

769

:: 25:13

just about to say that word

770

:: 25:14

it's the associations because what if anxiety is good

771

:: 25:17

yeah what do you mean anxiety is not good

772

:: 25:19

it's a problem I've doctor told me this and I'm like

773

:: 25:21

we like to call it victim mindset yeah

774

:: 25:23

and I'm like the more you sit in victim mindset

775

:: 25:25

the more you ruminate on your problems

776

:: 25:26

the more you ruminate in your the more the symptoms

777

:: 25:29

the self killing prophecy that dig the hole yeah

778

:: 25:31

that's right people want to hold on to that label

779

:: 25:32

and I'm like yeah

780

:: 25:33

I'm like you don't have depression

781

:: 25:34

you got depression symptoms and they're like

782

:: 25:36

they get triggered

783

:: 25:37

that's so triggered by cause people wanna hold that

784

:: 25:39

they wanted to make it me

785

:: 25:40

so I said what if it didn't mean that hmm

786

:: 25:43

what if what if

787

:: 25:43

your nervous system was just trying to protect you

788

:: 25:46

yes from things that had happened to you

789

:: 25:48

and and it's like

790

:: 25:49

what this is so when I first ever did breath work

791

:: 25:51

like nine people in my kitchen

792

:: 25:53

then I did like 16 at a local hall

793

:: 25:55

and I used to go on about the nervous system

794

:: 25:57

and Kirsty used to hate it because I go

795

:: 25:58

when egg lying in a gazelle

796

:: 26:00

is that cause we're just part of beings right

797

:: 26:02

with a big extra conscious reptilian brain and a lion

798

:: 26:05

and then the angle

799

:: 26:06

and then the heart rate goes up and it runs away

800

:: 26:08

and it goes to find safety in the bush

801

:: 26:09

and now it doesn't it feels anxiety every anytime

802

:: 26:12

it's maybe where the lion may come and yeah

803

:: 26:14

blah blah blah

804

:: 26:15

and it's like it is all just to help you yes

805

:: 26:17

we have symptoms and I tell people

806

:: 26:19

you don't have anxiety what do you mean

807

:: 26:21

it's like they put their uh

808

:: 26:23

their labels in a trophy cabinet

809

:: 26:25

yeah and they wanna be like

810

:: 26:26

I have this

811

:: 26:27

and I literally had a lady one day tell me like

812

:: 26:29

how dare you say I don't have this bar

813

:: 26:31

but I'm like if you wanna have it you can have it

814

:: 26:34

have it put it in a trophy case yeah

815

:: 26:36

I said but don't you wanna not have it

816

:: 26:37

well I do have it and I said

817

:: 26:39

well the accounts and I ams and like you said

818

:: 26:42

the words and with that's what we do

819

:: 26:44

a lot of words sorts of people

820

:: 26:45

self talk is absolutely everything

821

:: 26:47

if you look in the mirror every day and say

822

:: 26:48

I have anxiety I have anxiety

823

:: 26:49

what happens after fucking 30 days

824

:: 26:51

you look at yourself your heart rate goes up

825

:: 26:53

and then it becomes it becomes an identity

826

:: 26:55

like I am an anxious person

827

:: 26:56

and then they build it becomes who they are

828

:: 26:59

but what if you versus what they have

829

:: 27:01

I like to say is what you do

830

:: 27:03

cause you do emotions you don't have them

831

:: 27:06

it's a mental process it's a association

832

:: 27:09

it's a trigger it's something that's

833

:: 27:12

you're doing it in your nervous system

834

:: 27:13

and once they realise that

835

:: 27:15

they've been in the same place

836

:: 27:16

where something bad happened before

837

:: 27:17

their body is firing the coping mechanisms

838

:: 27:19

stuck in a loop yeah

839

:: 27:20

or they're replaying a mental

840

:: 27:22

image of something going wrong

841

:: 27:23

or they're showing that thing that they messed up

842

:: 27:25

conscious yeah

843

:: 27:26

it's they doing it and once they realize that they can

844

:: 27:28

they can undo it because they're not anxious 24 7

845

:: 27:32

like there's times of the day where they're

846

:: 27:34

they're not anxious yes

847

:: 27:36

so do you wanna say focused on that

848

:: 27:37

or they focused on the small percentage of the day

849

:: 27:39

where they do it and then blow it out of proportion

850

:: 27:41

and make it become an identity

851

:: 27:42

it's definitely just like when you talk to smokers

852

:: 27:45

they tell you how much of the day they're a non smoker

853

:: 27:47

and they realise they're actually a non smoker

854

:: 27:48

more than they're a smoker

855

:: 27:49

even people that smoke multiple packs

856

:: 27:51

a day only smoke couple hours a day

857

:: 27:53

like so they're actually a non smoker

858

:: 27:54

more than they're a smoker

859

:: 27:55

do you know what I mean yeah

860

:: 27:56

yeah the idea of the identity of the anxiety

861

:: 28:00

being in a cabinet like

862

:: 28:02

we do have a society at the moment

863

:: 28:03

where people feel so severely insignificant

864

:: 28:06

they're not maybe fulfilling their purpose

865

:: 28:08

not doing what they wanna be doing

866

:: 28:10

one of our six human needs is the need for significance

867

:: 28:12

and unfortunately sometimes

868

:: 28:14

the only way people can that is through the diagnosis

869

:: 28:17

uh I have this

870

:: 28:18

and so the idea of like secondary gain

871

:: 28:21

where the gain of the problem outweighs the pain of it

872

:: 28:23

is so rife with people who are experiencing like

873

:: 28:27

situations and you always as a coach

874

:: 28:29

kind of have to zoom out and go

875

:: 28:30

what is the benefit what are they benefiting

876

:: 28:32

well

877

:: 28:32

maybe they've been in a position in their childhood

878

:: 28:34

where they were made to feel so small

879

:: 28:36

so insignificant

880

:: 28:37

and the only time they got love was when they were sick

881

:: 28:39

hundred percent so now that's exactly what we um yeah

882

:: 28:43

we talked about like

883

:: 28:44

sometimes people get that attention

884

:: 28:46

you know when you see a girl

885

:: 28:48

put up half naked photos on Instagram

886

:: 28:49

that's where she gets the attention

887

:: 28:51

that's where she associates that attention with love

888

:: 28:53

the same thing with mental health

889

:: 28:55

I I know for a fact

890

:: 28:56

that I used to get more attention from my parents

891

:: 28:58

when I was naughty

892

:: 28:59

yes than when I was good yes

893

:: 29:01

so what was I 90% of the time I wasn't feeling loved

894

:: 29:04

I wasn't feel like I was getting attention

895

:: 29:05

my parents were drinkin alright

896

:: 29:07

I'll go and smash some shit

897

:: 29:08

I'll go and fuckin swear I'll go and do something

898

:: 29:10

and even though I'm in trouble and it feels wrong

899

:: 29:13

I've got attention right

900

:: 29:15

yes but good or bad

901

:: 29:16

what are the um

902

:: 29:17

what I was gonna say was what are the six things

903

:: 29:21

uh certainty and uncertainty

904

:: 29:23

certainty in variety uh

905

:: 29:25

significance love

906

:: 29:27

connection and growth growth

907

:: 29:29

yeah growth contribution

908

:: 29:30

yeah what did you call those

909

:: 29:31

the human the human needs Tony Robbins talks about yeah

910

:: 29:33

yeah yeah

911

:: 29:34

and what you just said then

912

:: 29:36

about what you did to get attention

913

:: 29:37

so it's you know

914

:: 29:38

that's huge

915

:: 29:39

I built another model that you guys will do when you do

916

:: 29:42

masters it's called the Alicia Rob Models Wank

917

:: 29:44

Wank Wank

918

:: 29:45

cause like you know

919

:: 29:46

it started with what

920

:: 29:46

hyphenated his name with Tony Robbins yeah

921

:: 29:49

cause like I watch Tony Robbins and watch what he did

922

:: 29:51

but I don't just watch I'm like

923

:: 29:52

what is he actually doing here

924

:: 29:53

yeah so if you've seen

925

:: 29:54

if you've seen like um

926

:: 29:56

I'm not your guru he asked specific line of questioning

927

:: 29:58

like which parent did you

928

:: 30:00

attention did you crave the most

929

:: 30:01

yes and what

930

:: 30:02

who do you have to be to do that

931

:: 30:03

yeah which is cool

932

:: 30:04

but then also it creates shadow

933

:: 30:06

cause if you fixate on what you need to be

934

:: 30:08

to get attention

935

:: 30:09

you also spit off half your personality

936

:: 30:11

and you suppress the other half yourself

937

:: 30:13

that's right so that was like okay

938

:: 30:15

the shadow elements there

939

:: 30:15

but there's also the bee do have energy

940

:: 30:17

and then also the other parents

941

:: 30:19

and anyone to play the role

942

:: 30:20

so I build a bigger model for what Tony did really well

943

:: 30:22

I was like well

944

:: 30:23

there's all this other shit we don't know

945

:: 30:24

so I think at the last hypno

946

:: 30:27

at the last Masters we ran

947

:: 30:29

a couple of students were like wow

948

:: 30:30

this is literally everything

949

:: 30:31

you ask these couple of questions

950

:: 30:32

and you just unpack someone's core identity

951

:: 30:34

and core personality and motivations and drivers

952

:: 30:37

literally you build your whole life around

953

:: 30:38

trying to get the attention from the parents

954

:: 30:40

and suppressing the parts of you that don't get it

955

:: 30:42

and then you create the shadow elements

956

:: 30:44

and you attract partners that are the

957

:: 30:45

literally

958

:: 30:46

the shit that you don't wanna own in yourself

959

:: 30:48

or friends and family they're like man

960

:: 30:49

this just basically is my life on a piece of paper

961

:: 30:52

and so it's so powerful

962

:: 30:54

looking at that and seeing how you

963

:: 30:57

like flowers grow towards light

964

:: 30:58

and so they wanna you know

965

:: 31:00

see me in my goods

966

:: 31:01

good light and they will push all the other step

967

:: 31:03

but you're all of that yes

968

:: 31:04

and so when you can bring it in and own it

969

:: 31:06

it doesn't own you anymore

970

:: 31:07

it's not controlling you it's not directing you

971

:: 31:10

you can be the villain and you can be the hero

972

:: 31:12

you can be naughty and you can be nice and you're not

973

:: 31:15

you're not letting yourself be

974

:: 31:16

you know in a little box anymore

975

:: 31:19

and I think for a lot of people

976

:: 31:20

that program is what fucks them up

977

:: 31:22

the religious program is societal programming

978

:: 31:24

the right wrong good or bad

979

:: 31:25

they they try to fit this little model

980

:: 31:27

and that they have so many double binds in their head

981

:: 31:30

where if they do one thing

982

:: 31:31

they're wrong

983

:: 31:31

but they do the other thing they're wrong

984

:: 31:32

so they can't win either way

985

:: 31:34

and for a lot of people

986

:: 31:35

they shut down and they don't know what to do

987

:: 31:37

and so they just give up

988

:: 31:39

and that's not a great place to be

989

:: 31:40

I I think that's really interesting

990

:: 31:42

so um

991

:: 31:42

I started doing some work recently Brianna May yeah

992

:: 31:45

she came into a mastermind

993

:: 31:47

she did shed a work hmm

994

:: 31:48

wow blew my fucking mind yeah

995

:: 31:51

like I would

996

:: 31:51

I looked at both and we're in the mastermind

997

:: 31:54

which is for our Webers assessment

998

:: 31:55

and I'm looking at one eye

999

:: 31:57

I'm actually selfish and he's like

1000

:: 32:00

what do you mean I said

1001

:: 32:01

because everyone says to me like you're so unselfish

1002

:: 32:03

you do all these things to everyone else

1003

:: 32:04

and you're a great mum and all these things

1004

:: 32:06

and I'm like I know deep down I'm selfish

1005

:: 32:10

but I couldn't own that

1006

:: 32:11

because the identity of you're not selfish

1007

:: 32:13

so how I can't be that

1008

:: 32:15

so when he even if anyone said that I'm like

1009

:: 32:17

I'm not selfish well then I'm like

1010

:: 32:18

the more I start saying I'm actually selfish

1011

:: 32:20

and I'm actually lazy sometimes as well yeah

1012

:: 32:23

I was like the freak

1013

:: 32:24

like the chains were like loosening and I was like

1014

:: 32:27

just coming off me on my own

1015

:: 32:28

fuck it I'm all of these things

1016

:: 32:30

and I'm now happy with all of it

1017

:: 32:32

so you gotta face your shadow yeah

1018

:: 32:34

when you own both parts is absolutely incredible

1019

:: 32:37

when I think that's what you know what

1020

:: 32:38

you're just from out there

1021

:: 32:38

and you can't be one without the other

1022

:: 32:40

you can't be one without the other

1023

:: 32:41

and I never got there until

1024

:: 32:43

you know

1025

:: 32:43

I've been in this place for so long and I still like

1026

:: 32:45

you know you

1027

:: 32:46

that's why I love drawing

1028

:: 32:47

masterminds with other people

1029

:: 32:48

during other courses covering your own alias

1030

:: 32:49

covering your own alias in your shit

1031

:: 32:52

and I think it's um

1032

:: 32:53

so incredible and Brianna May was absolutely amazing

1033

:: 32:56

one thing I wanna ask you on hypno

1034

:: 32:59

so and I'll put this in the show

1035

:: 33:00

nice for everyone to see as well

1036

:: 33:01

you did that demonstration with me with the choking hmm

1037

:: 33:05

can you explain how can I have had that level of fear

1038

:: 33:10

that controlled my life yeah

1039

:: 33:12

for that long

1040

:: 33:14

and by long I mean years and just for context

1041

:: 33:16

everybody that's listening

1042

:: 33:18

I mean it's so bad that I literally

1043

:: 33:20

as soon as Harvey start eating

1044

:: 33:22

I would go to my room and pray to God

1045

:: 33:23

he wasn't gonna die I'll be shaking

1046

:: 33:25

I'll be like bro

1047

:: 33:26

please watch him watch him um

1048

:: 33:27

the

1049

:: 33:28

the fear was so real that he was gonna die when he ate

1050

:: 33:30

um and my body would just respond

1051

:: 33:32

and I'd be literally in room praying to God

1052

:: 33:34

so how can you in a I think was about 30 minutes

1053

:: 33:39

change my whole life in 30 minutes

1054

:: 33:41

well I can't

1055

:: 33:42

you can right

1056

:: 33:43

so I can just be the door for you to

1057

:: 33:45

to to see what you need to see right

1058

:: 33:48

and so change doesn't take long

1059

:: 33:51

if you got the right tools

1060

:: 33:52

and you got the right techniques

1061

:: 33:53

it can be instant right

1062

:: 33:54

you getting ready to change

1063

:: 33:55

you being in the right scenario

1064

:: 33:57

feeling safe then being open

1065

:: 33:59

and that's No. 1 like if you

1066

:: 34:01

if you feel safe like if you don't feel safe

1067

:: 34:03

you're gonna just do what you've done

1068

:: 34:04

that keep you alive and survive yeah

1069

:: 34:06

you run the coping mechanism

1070

:: 34:07

you run the same strategy yeah

1071

:: 34:08

the second you've got someone that can

1072

:: 34:10

help you to feel safe and you feel open

1073

:: 34:12

magic can happen right

1074

:: 34:13

so that's number one

1075

:: 34:15

obviously one thing as well

1076

:: 34:16

I was just demoing one 1 technique

1077

:: 34:18

we could use any technique to get you there yeah

1078

:: 34:20

but what we did was

1079

:: 34:22

kind of unpack and uncover some key associations

1080

:: 34:25

you had

1081

:: 34:26

some different events that it was all linked to

1082

:: 34:28

and then we found out you know

1083

:: 34:29

some of the things that were going on

1084

:: 34:30

and then we found basically

1085

:: 34:32

what you needed to be able to handle those situations

1086

:: 34:35

some emotional resources

1087

:: 34:37

some different ways of seeing that

1088

:: 34:38

and so they're basically

1089

:: 34:39

if you imagine cut and paste problem

1090

:: 34:41

solution in your nervous system

1091

:: 34:43

we brought them together yeah

1092

:: 34:44

so we started associating the motions

1093

:: 34:46

and the resources you need to the situations and times

1094

:: 34:49

you needed them so now when you're around your family

1095

:: 34:52

your friends everyone eating

1096

:: 34:54

you now feel these new emotions which are safe love

1097

:: 34:56

connection instead of the fear

1098

:: 34:58

whatever and so in a reductionistic simplistic way yeah

1099

:: 35:03

we're we're changing the associations to the stimuluses

1100

:: 35:05

because your body

1101

:: 35:06

had the stimulus of seeing family members eat

1102

:: 35:09

and it had a trigger of whatever

1103

:: 35:10

and then it created feelings of fear

1104

:: 35:13

whatever in the past right

1105

:: 35:14

yeah and so then we

1106

:: 35:15

we completely rewire that

1107

:: 35:17

imagine unplugging the old stuff

1108

:: 35:18

plugging in new stuff

1109

:: 35:20

now when those things start happening new

1110

:: 35:22

new emotions new triggers are happening new more yeah

1111

:: 35:24

more resourceful ones yeah

1112

:: 35:26

and then you now think and feel different

1113

:: 35:28

when you have the same stimulus

1114

:: 35:29

that's actually the definition of learning

1115

:: 35:31

you have the same stimulus

1116

:: 35:32

but you actually act differently

1117

:: 35:33

so your body mind just un hypnotize

1118

:: 35:36

yourself and unlearn what you learn

1119

:: 35:38

and relearn a new way of doing it amazing

1120

:: 35:41

do you wanna track more money into your life

1121

:: 35:42

then this is for you

1122

:: 35:44

are you ready to fuck off procrastination

1123

:: 35:46

then this is for you

1124

:: 35:47

you need more sales in your business

1125

:: 35:48

this is for you

1126

:: 35:49

do you wanna feel more successful and confident

1127

:: 35:51

this is for you hi

1128

:: 35:52

I'm boy jury hi

1129

:: 35:53

I'm Kirsty Watingham

1130

:: 35:54

and welcome to believe in your breath

1131

:: 35:56

where we breathe success

1132

:: 35:57

if you wanna work with us further

1133

:: 35:59

you wanna join we Breathe Success

1134

:: 36:01

it is designed to take you from where you are now

1135

:: 36:03

to where you wanna be in 12 months or less

1136

:: 36:05

if you're ready to 10 extra life

1137

:: 36:07

and step into the ultimate version of yourself

1138

:: 36:09

that you know you can be

1139

:: 36:10

then this program's for you your transformation awaits

1140

:: 36:16

and and like you know

1141

:: 36:16

I still now if I get a little bit of the angst

1142

:: 36:20

I will sing that song Lollipop Lollipop

1143

:: 36:27

how good of resources laughter

1144

:: 36:28

like people say one day you'll look back and laugh

1145

:: 36:30

I'm like why don't we just speed it up

1146

:: 36:31

let's make today the day you look back and laugh

1147

:: 36:33

and so I'm really big on using humour in my teaching

1148

:: 36:36

slash therapy we on um

1149

:: 36:38

Tony Robbins

1150

:: 36:39

where he gets the suicidal guy with the red shoes

1151

:: 36:41

so I'm not your guru yeah yeah

1152

:: 36:42

I watch that every time on a plane yeah

1153

:: 36:44

and he's like why is suicidal

1154

:: 36:46

and he's like but he like he's like crying and stuff

1155

:: 36:48

and then Tony Robins goes through a bit of things

1156

:: 36:50

and then the guy starts to laugh and he goes

1157

:: 36:52

stop fucking laughing you're supposed to be suicidal

1158

:: 36:54

then he laughs more and like that

1159

:: 36:56

that's sort of the

1160

:: 36:56

more of the shit we're doing on stage

1161

:: 36:58

like it's like hey

1162

:: 36:59

there there you go

1163

:: 36:59

it's not that bad yeah

1164

:: 37:01

like let's let's put a little bit of light

1165

:: 37:03

and have a new association to your problem

1166

:: 37:05

and I just wanna say

1167

:: 37:06

cause before we spoke about how like

1168

:: 37:08

you know

1169

:: 37:08

putting your anxiety or your depression or PTSD or ADHD

1170

:: 37:11

or whatever symptoms you have on

1171

:: 37:13

into a label and a word

1172

:: 37:14

and putting it up and owning it and ruminating on it

1173

:: 37:17

yeah the symptoms are real

1174

:: 37:18

and and for someone like me and you Paul

1175

:: 37:20

we can sit there and go I

1176

:: 37:22

I'm the same I I

1177

:: 37:23

I fucking couldn't leave my house

1178

:: 37:24

I used to wake up in the middle of the night

1179

:: 37:25

with panic attacks yes

1180

:: 37:26

and my life was perfect at the time yeah

1181

:: 37:28

sometimes when your life's not good

1182

:: 37:30

at least you can go well anxiety

1183

:: 37:32

yeah and

1184

:: 37:32

and the number one thing that we use that

1185

:: 37:34

believe in your breath now

1186

:: 37:36

every time we open a vent

1187

:: 37:37

I say get out your note pen

1188

:: 37:38

pen write down two words

1189

:: 37:39

get curious yeah

1190

:: 37:41

whenever you got a fucking problem yeah

1191

:: 37:42

get curious about it and now what do you mean

1192

:: 37:45

and I'm like alright you got anxiety

1193

:: 37:47

you cannot be curious and anxious at the same time yeah

1194

:: 37:49

you cannot be angry and grateful at the same times

1195

:: 37:52

trying to have a new association or out of anxious

1196

:: 37:54

why am I anxious what I've been eating this week

1197

:: 37:56

who have been hanging around here

1198

:: 37:56

what pressures do I have yeah

1199

:: 37:58

what's coming up what might have triggered me

1200

:: 38:00

why am I triggered what's happening here

1201

:: 38:01

what's happening there

1202

:: 38:02

what can I do to maybe less lessen these symptoms

1203

:: 38:04

what can I do to increase them

1204

:: 38:06

what like write down like fuckin at a 24 page book

1205

:: 38:09

just get everything out

1206

:: 38:11

get super clear and curious about what's going on

1207

:: 38:14

and then your body will find but by sitting and going

1208

:: 38:16

I'm this and I'm that and I'm really this

1209

:: 38:18

and I'm gonna be even more this tomorrow

1210

:: 38:20

and then next week I've got that job interview

1211

:: 38:21

I'm gonna be even more like

1212

:: 38:23

you're ruminating

1213

:: 38:24

when you probably start googling your symptoms

1214

:: 38:26

and yeah well

1215

:: 38:26

I think that like basis of what you just did there is

1216

:: 38:31

people just replaying the same thought

1217

:: 38:34

and thinking they're thinking

1218

:: 38:36

right so most people like ah

1219

:: 38:38

I'm anxious they don't

1220

:: 38:39

they're not thinking that's not a new thought

1221

:: 38:40

that is replaying the same tape of the same thing

1222

:: 38:42

over and again and they think I am actually

1223

:: 38:44

but then they find more reinforcing

1224

:: 38:45

what you're getting them to do

1225

:: 38:47

with all of the questions

1226

:: 38:47

or is actually getting them to actually think

1227

:: 38:50

thinking requires searching

1228

:: 38:52

looking yeah

1229

:: 38:53

expanding what are this what is that

1230

:: 38:55

how is this

1231

:: 38:56

your brain starts going from the pattern you're running

1232

:: 38:58

and you're starting to open up the neurology

1233

:: 39:00

open up the psychology open up the physiology

1234

:: 39:02

cause now instead of just fixating on the

1235

:: 39:05

five things in the life that are really shit

1236

:: 39:07

they're starting to expand out

1237

:: 39:08

and see 10 other things that they didn't think about

1238

:: 39:10

then 20 other things and now the

1239

:: 39:13

you know big problem they had in context of everything

1240

:: 39:15

is not really as big as they thought

1241

:: 39:18

and so just stimulating that thinking

1242

:: 39:20

that searching magic cause people just don't

1243

:: 39:23

they get stuck in the groove

1244

:: 39:24

and they only run the same math

1245

:: 39:26

exactly yeah it's like it's like well

1246

:: 39:28

why would I wanna get curious about my anxiety

1247

:: 39:30

then I explain it and they're like

1248

:: 39:31

holy fuck and then people message me after event

1249

:: 39:34

and I do that in the first five minutes

1250

:: 39:35

we come out on stage we do an introduction and I said

1251

:: 39:37

let's get curious if you're gonna take away anything

1252

:: 39:39

from the next two hours spending uh

1253

:: 39:41

two days spending 12 hours with us

1254

:: 39:43

take away getting fucking curious about whatever

1255

:: 39:45

everything in life you're angry

1256

:: 39:47

you're angry

1257

:: 39:47

instead of fucking staying angry and blaming

1258

:: 39:50

blaming whatever made you angry

1259

:: 39:52

how about we get fucking

1260

:: 39:53

curious about where the anger is coming from

1261

:: 39:54

let's go deeper let's ask the right questions

1262

:: 39:56

and I think

1263

:: 39:57

hypno is literally someone doing that for you

1264

:: 39:59

and as you said

1265

:: 40:00

the biggest change for you was self hypnosis

1266

:: 40:02

yes you started to learn to do your own

1267

:: 40:05

and I'm like

1268

:: 40:05

that's why I tell people that we're not healers

1269

:: 40:07

we're not fuck people come to us say

1270

:: 40:09

thank you for so much for changing my life

1271

:: 40:10

and I'm like thank you for

1272

:: 40:11

stepping into the space and doing the fucking work

1273

:: 40:13

what we we like

1274

:: 40:14

we give you a new set of keys to your new Lamborghini

1275

:: 40:17

but you gotta drive that fucking Lamborghini

1276

:: 40:19

and you get to choose go left right

1277

:: 40:21

go back to Honda Civic

1278

:: 40:22

or you can go back to whatever one you want

1279

:: 40:24

you know and so that's what I truly believe like

1280

:: 40:26

you know in the space

1281

:: 40:27

a good leader leads they want like

1282

:: 40:31

I don't want clients to be coming back

1283

:: 40:32

and back and back

1284

:: 40:33

I want them and I wanna create leaders

1285

:: 40:36

because when you do your own healing

1286

:: 40:38

as you did what did you do

1287

:: 40:40

you wanna get a space to help other people

1288

:: 40:42

that's because you know the sort of sound fucking work

1289

:: 40:44

and like the same thing with us

1290

:: 40:46

like when I did my first breathwork session

1291

:: 40:48

which took me a year I might add

1292

:: 40:50

while he was doing it for a year

1293

:: 40:51

and everyone else having results around him

1294

:: 40:54

it was mind blowing like for the first time my life

1295

:: 40:58

98% of people in our space

1296

:: 41:00

it was releasing it was yeah do that

1297

:: 41:02

they have this big thing and they're like

1298

:: 41:03

how the fuck do I do breathwork

1299

:: 41:05

like yeah I was like

1300

:: 41:06

the world needs to know this

1301

:: 41:07

because I had been in so much internal pain

1302

:: 41:10

for so many years

1303

:: 41:11

and I haven't been doing my self development journey

1304

:: 41:14

we started 19 I picked up my first book

1305

:: 41:15

you can Heal your life by Louise Hayes

1306

:: 41:17

wanting to be a bit better person

1307

:: 41:19

and a different person cause I was pregnant

1308

:: 41:21

and I didn't want my son to go through

1309

:: 41:23

the long list of shit that I had my whole life

1310

:: 41:25

and I didn't want him to have my programming

1311

:: 41:27

and my parents programming

1312

:: 41:28

I wanted to be different so I pulled out that book

1313

:: 41:30

and I was the only person in my family doing that

1314

:: 41:32

no one did this and so I think that is um

1315

:: 41:36

that's the game changer and that's why we're such

1316

:: 41:38

you know great people in this space um

1317

:: 41:42

speaking about people in this space

1318

:: 41:43

like obviously we're both couples in business

1319

:: 41:46

and I think it's a magic um

1320

:: 41:49

I think we can all agree

1321

:: 41:50

that it comes with a polarity of fucking hardship

1322

:: 41:53

and sometimes it's like

1323

:: 41:54

fuck would be easier if it was just me doing this or

1324

:: 41:56

you know obviously

1325

:: 41:58

obviously some balance

1326

:: 41:59

but there's obviously a lot of good

1327

:: 42:01

I think we both share a lot of the same

1328

:: 42:03

similar roles in a power couple

1329

:: 42:05

and we both bring light where there's dark

1330

:: 42:07

and I think one of the main things we say is like

1331

:: 42:10

a relationship and a biz and a partnership isn't 50 50

1332

:: 42:13

sometimes Kirsty's 70 and I'm 30

1333

:: 42:16

and she's gonna show that extra up

1334

:: 42:17

sometimes I'm low and she's high and whatever

1335

:: 42:20

like it's all about you know

1336

:: 42:22

and I think the best thing for me and Kirsty is like

1337

:: 42:24

integrating through your program

1338

:: 42:26

like in our breaks we're like

1339

:: 42:27

how do you feel about this and how's that

1340

:: 42:29

and did you like the way they did that

1341

:: 42:31

and what confused you so we're integrating together

1342

:: 42:33

so we're like on steroids doing work yeah

1343

:: 42:35

because like

1344

:: 42:36

we went away and did our breathwork training together

1345

:: 42:38

so we come back and

1346

:: 42:39

there's been a couple of times where

1347

:: 42:40

Casey's going through some hardship

1348

:: 42:41

I already threw a breathwork session

1349

:: 42:43

and it's hard to drop your ego

1350

:: 42:44

and let your partner hold space for you

1351

:: 42:46

and we can do that now and I know like a lot of people

1352

:: 42:49

like even down to doing social media like

1353

:: 42:52

you know doing a videos like get out the room

1354

:: 42:54

like I don't want you to see what I'm about to do

1355

:: 42:56

hey guys hey

1356

:: 42:56

and then get out like it's embarrassing

1357

:: 42:59

like we literally like her

1358

:: 43:00

she's like

1359

:: 43:00

I'll hold the camera for you like like to cheer me up

1360

:: 43:03

like make me feel better like

1361

:: 43:04

you know you got this say like

1362

:: 43:06

like you always do it to Paul as well

1363

:: 43:08

yeah and I think that's a magic part as well

1364

:: 43:10

but I think holding space for each other

1365

:: 43:12

but I think you guys can agree

1366

:: 43:13

if you don't grow together

1367

:: 43:14

you will grow apart yes

1368

:: 43:15

and I think you guys been together for 10 years

1369

:: 43:17

we've done almost six now

1370

:: 43:19

is it ten it feels like 10 days yeah

1371

:: 43:23

it also feels like 10 lifetimes

1372

:: 43:25

yeah it does feel like that

1373

:: 43:26

but my question here is that like as a couple

1374

:: 43:30

what are the biggest challenges that you've had

1375

:: 43:33

as not just a couple but in business

1376

:: 43:35

and then how what

1377

:: 43:37

what what

1378

:: 43:38

what tools and what brings you back to the love

1379

:: 43:41

to the business and and keeps you on track

1380

:: 43:44

so basically

1381

:: 43:45

biggest challenges that you guys over have to

1382

:: 43:47

have to like come across that is maybe repetitive

1383

:: 43:50

or may it was one thing five years ago

1384

:: 43:52

and what what gets you through those hard times as a

1385

:: 43:55

as a power couple cool

1386

:: 43:57

I wanna start off by saying

1387

:: 43:58

thank you so much for sharing that

1388

:: 43:59

because people don't always know

1389

:: 44:01

like the dynamic of everything

1390

:: 44:03

but couples that grow together flow together

1391

:: 44:05

and you guys said that like

1392

:: 44:06

when you literally level up together

1393

:: 44:08

it's it creates another thing

1394

:: 44:10

and we love studying together

1395

:: 44:11

we like we have gone

1396

:: 44:13

on multiple trainings and multiple things

1397

:: 44:15

where we have done that

1398

:: 44:16

but also we're getting better at

1399

:: 44:18

you know

1400

:: 44:18

going on our own journey and doing things separate

1401

:: 44:21

which then when we come back together

1402

:: 44:23

it's important to yeah

1403

:: 44:24

we've had some really fascinating situations where

1404

:: 44:27

when I've gone

1405

:: 44:28

I tend to like go and do my own like spiritual things

1406

:: 44:31

I'm gonna go to Egypt on my own for a few weeks

1407

:: 44:33

and the end of the year and pools done

1408

:: 44:35

like really deep personal development courses

1409

:: 44:38

where we'll actually feel our own vibration shifting

1410

:: 44:42

and our consciousness shifting

1411

:: 44:43

I remember one day

1412

:: 44:44

you were at a course in Sydney for a week or two

1413

:: 44:47

really deep dive course going into all sorts of stuff

1414

:: 44:50

I don't even know what the course was

1415

:: 44:52

but everything you were sharing with me was profound

1416

:: 44:53

and day by day

1417

:: 44:55

I could feel my thought patterns changing

1418

:: 44:57

and I messaged him on one of the days and I said

1419

:: 44:59

what did you just learn about

1420

:: 45:00

and he said oh

1421

:: 45:01

we learn about this polarity

1422

:: 45:02

we learn about that we learn about this and I said

1423

:: 45:03

I literally just had these ideas drop in

1424

:: 45:06

and I've never thought this way before

1425

:: 45:07

thank you for going and doing the work

1426

:: 45:09

because it's when you're that

1427

:: 45:10

we know that we're each other's shadow

1428

:: 45:12

yeah and I know that our understanding of each other

1429

:: 45:16

anything that frustrates me about him

1430

:: 45:18

I know is my stuff and we own that

1431

:: 45:20

and I think that's been a big growth

1432

:: 45:22

thing for both of us but also

1433

:: 45:24

we both had relationships before now

1434

:: 45:26

where it wasn't this way and so we both have you know

1435

:: 45:29

relationship

1436

:: 45:30

and connection is one of our highest values

1437

:: 45:32

and we always come back to each other

1438

:: 45:33

I wanna say Bon Kirsty one of my biggest challenges is

1439

:: 45:37

and I've said this to you before

1440

:: 45:40

I don't know if you ever went to stay at like

1441

:: 45:42

a friend's house when you're at school

1442

:: 45:44

had a sleepover or something like that

1443

:: 45:45

I said sometimes

1444

:: 45:46

I feel like I'm at my friend's house for a sleepover

1445

:: 45:49

and I've got to go and do my homework

1446

:: 45:50

because I have to go and like

1447

:: 45:52

go and work but I love our work and sometimes though

1448

:: 45:55

it does feel like pulling myself away

1449

:: 45:57

and I just wanna have fun and play and and

1450

:: 46:00

and then we also realize that our souls met

1451

:: 46:03

because we have a purpose in this world

1452

:: 46:04

yeah and we believe in that vision

1453

:: 46:06

and we come back to that vision

1454

:: 46:08

and so sometimes it's just the the little

1455

:: 46:10

you know

1456

:: 46:10

aspect of me that just wants to go and play and yeah

1457

:: 46:13

I think that's definitely one of the biggest challenges

1458

:: 46:16

we've been obviously

1459

:: 46:17

lucky enough to put in a lot of hard work

1460

:: 46:19

to see our business grow yeah

1461

:: 46:20

it's not luck yeah

1462

:: 46:21

well you know

1463

:: 46:22

it's we've definitely elements of you know

1464

:: 46:24

you can't just say it's all whatever like yeah

1465

:: 46:26

there has to be some element of

1466

:: 46:28

you know things as well

1467

:: 46:29

some people work harder and don't have the same success

1468

:: 46:31

whatever yeah

1469

:: 46:31

but um

1470

:: 46:33

seeing how much like we wanna spend that time together

1471

:: 46:38

and then the business becomes its own beast almost

1472

:: 46:40

and it takes so much and demand so much of you that no

1473

:: 46:43

we don't want our relationship to be the afterthought

1474

:: 46:45

yes like

1475

:: 46:46

and so sometimes when we're in delivery mode

1476

:: 46:48

we're in build mode we're in whatever

1477

:: 46:50

like you do have to shift gears

1478

:: 46:52

and we're

1479

:: 46:52

sometimes more business partners than we are couple

1480

:: 46:55

yup and like we always have the the

1481

:: 46:57

you know partnership of our relationship first

1482

:: 47:01

but sometimes

1483

:: 47:01

the energy disperse of that does take over

1484

:: 47:04

and you know sometimes I feel like

1485

:: 47:08

we're blessed for the business we have

1486

:: 47:09

but also we would you know

1487

:: 47:11

sometimes

1488

:: 47:11

the balance of how much we just can go walk on a beach

1489

:: 47:14

versus go be

1490

:: 47:15

be doing the delivery is is a is a thing

1491

:: 47:18

and that's a huge challenge

1492

:: 47:19

and then you know

1493

:: 47:20

managing the complexities of a growing business like

1494

:: 47:23

you know we never had a business of the size that

1495

:: 47:25

ours has got to and all those kind of things

1496

:: 47:27

but I think we're lucky enough that

1497

:: 47:30

our communication has been fantastic yeah

1498

:: 47:32

like I know that one of the biggest challenges

1499

:: 47:34

for me in my life and why I teach language

1500

:: 47:37

is because growing up

1501

:: 47:38

I never got shown how to communicate with years

1502

:: 47:41

where in my family people did not in the same house

1503

:: 47:43

talk to each other for years

1504

:: 47:45

and like so like

1505

:: 47:46

I know what it's like to exist in the same

1506

:: 47:48

world as someone and just

1507

:: 47:49

you know pass them by in the hallway

1508

:: 47:51

and just pretend it didn't happen kind of thing right

1509

:: 47:54

yeah super weird

1510

:: 47:55

and so in previous relationships

1511

:: 47:57

sometimes it'd be the unsaid thing

1512

:: 47:58

that'd be the hard conversation to have

1513

:: 48:00

but I'm so blessed that Julia

1514

:: 48:02

has helped me to feel safe

1515

:: 48:04

talking about anything going anywhere

1516

:: 48:06

and just like

1517

:: 48:08

knowing that that is the way to do the relationship

1518

:: 48:11

not hide things not pretend it didn't happen

1519

:: 48:13

but bring it to forefront

1520

:: 48:15

talk about it work through as a team

1521

:: 48:17

yeah and do it as a team and share the energy together

1522

:: 48:20

versus no

1523

:: 48:21

put it away and pretend it didn't happen kind of thing

1524

:: 48:23

then you can grow from it

1525

:: 48:24

oh it's huge

1526

:: 48:24

and I feel like that you're ignoring growth otherwise

1527

:: 48:27

yeah and I feel like we don't have that many arguments

1528

:: 48:30

because of that yes

1529

:: 48:31

like I feel like

1530

:: 48:32

because you don't have time to build resentment

1531

:: 48:34

yeah exactly

1532

:: 48:35

you can't build resentment

1533

:: 48:36

if you're constantly going over

1534

:: 48:38

here's a little something

1535

:: 48:39

but I think when you said communication there

1536

:: 48:42

my my thing is what I've learnt is like

1537

:: 48:44

when couples come to me like yeah

1538

:: 48:46

we communicate and I'm like

1539

:: 48:47

communicate is fuck all

1540

:: 48:48

like two people talking to each other's communication

1541

:: 48:51

it it

1542

:: 48:51

it means nothing

1543

:: 48:52

if there's not two people understanding each other yeah

1544

:: 48:55

yeah one thing me and Kirsty can do

1545

:: 48:56

and I know you guys really good at it as well

1546

:: 48:59

is take each other shoes off and swap em yeah alright

1547

:: 49:01

you've got this

1548

:: 49:02

you got that and then like Kirsty when she got with me

1549

:: 49:05

I got I like you know

1550

:: 49:06

ADHD symptoms through the roof

1551

:: 49:08

and I have a lot to say on ADHD with it well

1552

:: 49:11

that's another podcast but my

1553

:: 49:13

she went and read books and

1554

:: 49:16

podcast and things on ADHD to try and understand me

1555

:: 49:19

because for her to come to me and and

1556

:: 49:21

and and say what she wanted to say

1557

:: 49:23

it was a communication yeah

1558

:: 49:25

it was a conversation hmm

1559

:: 49:27

but it wasn't gonna be a healthy one

1560

:: 49:28

because it was all like

1561

:: 49:29

you do this and you do that and she goes well

1562

:: 49:30

maybe I need to understand how his brain works

1563

:: 49:33

so she went and did it and then she come back and goes

1564

:: 49:35

I get it hmm

1565

:: 49:36

understand it

1566

:: 49:37

but also you need to put measure I will understand you

1567

:: 49:39

but you have to reciprocate and you gotta do the work

1568

:: 49:41

do the work

1569

:: 49:42

and that this thing when we breathe success

1570

:: 49:45

we have a really high rate

1571

:: 49:48

I hate to say this of people coming in

1572

:: 49:51

and then breakups happen within months

1573

:: 49:53

because a woman comes in and

1574

:: 49:55

or a man or a man and does the work and they grow

1575

:: 49:59

and then their their partners just left behind

1576

:: 50:01

and if the partner is trying to pull them back down

1577

:: 50:03

like you used to be cooler yeah

1578

:: 50:04

you know all you wanna do is go breath

1579

:: 50:06

work and go to gym and do all these courses

1580

:: 50:08

and like we used to drink or we used to do this

1581

:: 50:10

and your friend circle does the same thing yeah

1582

:: 50:12

trying to pull you back down

1583

:: 50:13

but the thing is like

1584

:: 50:14

if a lot of times as well on a positive note

1585

:: 50:17

the guy or the girl come in and be like hey

1586

:: 50:20

my partner's done a lot of change with you guys

1587

:: 50:21

like I wanna do it as well yeah

1588

:: 50:24

I don't know how to approach them like what do I do

1589

:: 50:26

and I'm like I love this

1590

:: 50:27

and then my favorite thing is

1591

:: 50:28

my favorite thing is when we do events

1592

:: 50:30

and couples come in together yes

1593

:: 50:31

I was just gonna say I'm so

1594

:: 50:33

so stoked that you both did the courses together

1595

:: 50:36

and that's why we offer pretty generous

1596

:: 50:37

couples discounts yeah

1597

:: 50:38

as well because we know the value in that exact piece

1598

:: 50:42

yeah and I just got like

1599

:: 50:43

a shiver when you talked about

1600

:: 50:45

the relationships that do

1601

:: 50:46

break up

1602

:: 50:47

because it was actually a workshop that I went to

1603

:: 50:50

and the facilitator said something so powerful

1604

:: 50:54

that I couldn't unhear it

1605

:: 50:55

and I went home from that workshop

1606

:: 50:57

and I left my marriage wow

1607

:: 50:58

and so you're freeing souls because for me and my

1608

:: 51:01

when I was 27

1609

:: 51:02

and I've been with my ex husband since I was 16

1610

:: 51:04

I didn't know anything else right

1611

:: 51:06

my soul needed to be freed

1612

:: 51:07

yeah in that moment

1613

:: 51:08

and I would have faced soul death if I'd stayed

1614

:: 51:11

and that's what happens when people choose fear

1615

:: 51:14

and the darkness and the same

1616

:: 51:16

and the comfort zone over

1617

:: 51:18

do you know what my soul wants to live this life

1618

:: 51:20

and I wanna pay this forward

1619

:: 51:22

and the people that are being brave enough to say

1620

:: 51:25

I want more for my life

1621

:: 51:26

the ripple effect that you're having with people

1622

:: 51:28

that's massive and yeah

1623

:: 51:30

obviously in an ideal world or relationships

1624

:: 51:33

both couples would evolve together

1625

:: 51:34

but what's that ecards always saying

1626

:: 51:37

you know relationships aren't designed to make us happy

1627

:: 51:39

they're designed to make us conscious

1628

:: 51:40

yes and that's all our commitment is to each other

1629

:: 51:44

like I remember

1630

:: 51:45

a lot of people get into relationships and they say oh

1631

:: 51:47

please never change stay the same

1632

:: 51:48

yeah and we just look at each other and go

1633

:: 51:50

please change keep evolving

1634

:: 51:51

yeah let's keep going

1635

:: 51:52

keep evolving we actually said on the way here that um

1636

:: 51:55

a friend of ours was like

1637

:: 51:56

you know my partner never

1638

:: 51:58

you know whenever I'm feeling overweight or or

1639

:: 52:01

or this and that he always is real supportive

1640

:: 52:03

but I might Kirsty pushes me to fucking grow yeah

1641

:: 52:06

right

1642

:: 52:07

and if I'm being in a victim mindset and I'm doing this

1643

:: 52:09

she's like alright

1644

:: 52:10

you've had your downtime that's fucking enough yeah

1645

:: 52:12

and and my ego wants to push back on her but

1646

:: 52:15

but she but she's like

1647

:: 52:17

she's like I've booked you in this breath word

1648

:: 52:19

you're going to Egypt by yourself

1649

:: 52:20

like whatever the thing is like like

1650

:: 52:22

like and and she cause we're she's not insecure

1651

:: 52:24

she's like jump on a plane

1652

:: 52:26

go out the fuckin Himalayans and

1653

:: 52:28

and sing from the mountains do like

1654

:: 52:30

I'll book it in I'll pay for it

1655

:: 52:31

I'll do whatever the fuck we have to do

1656

:: 52:33

because she cares for my growth

1657

:: 52:34

a lot of couples I think

1658

:: 52:36

are so insecure

1659

:: 52:38

that they actually don't wanna see their partner grow

1660

:: 52:40

they don't want them to do the work

1661

:: 52:41

because it's scary to see they um

1662

:: 52:44

and especially like narcissistic behaviour

1663

:: 52:47

obviously we've all got a narcissist inside of us but

1664

:: 52:49

um you know what awakens that is losing control

1665

:: 52:52

when their partner starts to grow and freedom

1666

:: 52:54

they got these new friends and this new environment

1667

:: 52:56

they start to lose weight and look good

1668

:: 52:58

and feel good and dress nicer

1669

:: 53:00

and they walk around more confident

1670

:: 53:01

the other partner feels like

1671

:: 53:03

who the fuck do you think you are

1672

:: 53:04

and try and bash em down more

1673

:: 53:05

because they're feeling still small

1674

:: 53:07

and I feel like that's a problem that couples

1675

:: 53:09

a lot like have like

1676

:: 53:10

I want Kirsty to be the best

1677

:: 53:11

look the best feel the best

1678

:: 53:13

she wants me to be the best feel the best be the best

1679

:: 53:16

look the best

1680

:: 53:16

so it's always about building your fuckiest confidence

1681

:: 53:19

as I always say and like grow to a team

1682

:: 53:21

not a fucking that's not a fucking

1683

:: 53:23

it's a competition it's not a competition

1684

:: 53:25

and I think that's half the problem

1685

:: 53:26

and you know I love what it's before

1686

:: 53:29

like sometimes it is when you're

1687

:: 53:30

when your partners and your business owners yeah

1688

:: 53:34

and we have kids on top of that yeah

1689

:: 53:35

exactly trying to um sometimes make it all work

1690

:: 53:39

you don't always get a right

1691

:: 53:40

we don't and and we definitely don't always get a right

1692

:: 53:42

and you know

1693

:: 53:43

there's one thing that we've been saying to implement

1694

:: 53:45

and because I'm mainly the person just all the

1695

:: 53:47

the real hard work behind a thing

1696

:: 53:49

or just like shows up and does the show

1697

:: 53:51

like is the girling

1698

:: 53:52

you know does the social events of that

1699

:: 53:54

I mean we've got our parts

1700

:: 53:55

but we do

1701

:: 53:56

my thing is this is that I always found out hard

1702

:: 54:00

I would be hyper focused

1703

:: 54:02

and I'll be singing full masculine energy

1704

:: 54:05

now I would like to change masculine to fierce

1705

:: 54:07

because I think it's fierce energy

1706

:: 54:08

I'm a boss bitch mode

1707

:: 54:09

don't fuck with me and get my shit done alright

1708

:: 54:11

that's what's happening

1709

:: 54:25

and

1710

:: 54:32

and then Boris are saying to me alright

1711

:: 54:34

you're not to come home straight away

1712

:: 54:36

you finish and you have an hour by yourself

1713

:: 54:38

you go do a massage your breath work

1714

:: 54:40

you wind down go to beach

1715

:: 54:41

have a coconut do whatever you need to soften

1716

:: 54:44

and I think like you know

1717

:: 54:45

I mean I don't know your dynamic and all that

1718

:: 54:48

but do you sometimes find it hard to leave work at work

1719

:: 54:52

and then come home and be switch off

1720

:: 54:54

the couple oh

1721

:: 54:55

well we work from home

1722

:: 54:56

we work from home so same

1723

:: 54:58

it's I mean just the lines are super blurred

1724

:: 55:01

yes and for me

1725

:: 55:03

I've been running my own business for a long time

1726

:: 55:05

and so I never like

1727

:: 55:07

when I was navigating my own life and whatever

1728

:: 55:09

it didn't really matter

1729

:: 55:10

but obviously in in our sort of dynamic

1730

:: 55:13

being blessed to work from home

1731

:: 55:14

most of the time is awesome

1732

:: 55:15

but then again you could be sitting on the couch

1733

:: 55:18

you'd be sitting in bed

1734

:: 55:18

you could be sitting in any room

1735

:: 55:19

and the work goes with you

1736

:: 55:20

yes and so yeah

1737

:: 55:22

you know it's with you

1738

:: 55:23

trying to make sure that you actually have a off time

1739

:: 55:26

on time yeah

1740

:: 55:27

it's a constant battle and it changes all the time

1741

:: 55:29

and I think I'm a bit more like

1742

:: 55:32

I think I've kind of trained myself to be okay with it

1743

:: 55:35

yeah but I know for Juliette

1744

:: 55:36

that is from a on off time in any I turn my phone off

1745

:: 55:40

yeah yeah

1746

:: 55:41

that helps yeah

1747

:: 55:42

as soon as I turn my phone off

1748

:: 55:44

it's almost like as an external reflection of my work

1749

:: 55:47

and I turn that off

1750

:: 55:48

and then I do my stuff around the house

1751

:: 55:51

and things like that

1752

:: 55:51

or go and see friends or whatever it is

1753

:: 55:54

but it's a constant balance

1754

:: 55:55

and I'm not saying that we get it always perfect

1755

:: 55:57

but we always come back to

1756

:: 55:59

you know what's our intention

1757

:: 56:00

what's our connection what are we trying to achieve

1758

:: 56:02

we're both really passionate about our work

1759

:: 56:04

so we love talking about it and it energizes us

1760

:: 56:06

one of my highest values is

1761

:: 56:08

making a difference in the world

1762

:: 56:09

and so yeah just talking about it lights me up

1763

:: 56:11

and the fact that I get to do it with my partner

1764

:: 56:13

is so fun uh

1765

:: 56:14

but yeah we definitely

1766

:: 56:16

I think that was thing

1767

:: 56:17

I'd say about three or four years ago

1768

:: 56:19

we were maybe in a bit of a codependent

1769

:: 56:22

just doing way too much stuff together

1770

:: 56:24

working together now we've got our own separate hobbies

1771

:: 56:27

and that helps as well I think that's very important

1772

:: 56:29

yeah cause you gotta miss each other

1773

:: 56:31

you gotta miss each other

1774

:: 56:32

and I'll come to Kirsty with things about

1775

:: 56:34

look at this new bands gotta say

1776

:: 56:35

she's like call you mate

1777

:: 56:37

yes okay

1778

:: 56:38

go call your friend like

1779

:: 56:39

I don't care and then

1780

:: 56:40

you know and then she'll come to me with business stuff

1781

:: 56:42

and I'm like

1782

:: 56:42

I don't care she's like this is your business I'm like

1783

:: 56:45

okay okay

1784

:: 56:45

like that won't work for that but you know like

1785

:: 56:48

like we what I tell you your employee

1786

:: 56:51

you are part of it yeah

1787

:: 56:52

I'm like I'm like we we are um

1788

:: 56:55

we do everything together like we're parents together

1789

:: 56:57

we're partners together

1790

:: 56:58

we live together like we travel together and um

1791

:: 57:01

you know I feel like we do get a lot right

1792

:: 57:04

not everything right and we we

1793

:: 57:06

but the things you don't get right

1794

:: 57:07

you learn from yeah but as you guys said before

1795

:: 57:10

like if you if you come across something

1796

:: 57:12

I think being different is also good yeah

1797

:: 57:15

because yes

1798

:: 57:16

we don't argue like we're pretty good at going

1799

:: 57:18

what do you think of this idea on the business yet

1800

:: 57:20

let's do it or the other person say

1801

:: 57:21

I don't think it's good idea because X

1802

:: 57:22

y and Z okay yeah

1803

:: 57:23

you're right and yeah

1804

:: 57:24

we work together but I think as a couple

1805

:: 57:27

it comes down to two main things

1806

:: 57:29

you have the same morals so morally

1807

:: 57:31

what you think is right or wrong aligns

1808

:: 57:33

and also the future

1809

:: 57:35

see your visions where you're going

1810

:: 57:37

because if one person's morals are like well

1811

:: 57:39

I don't care about that and you're like

1812

:: 57:40

well my morals highly stand for that

1813

:: 57:43

you gonna step on each other

1814

:: 57:44

and it's gonna really feel

1815

:: 57:45

it's gonna be resentment of frustration and then um

1816

:: 57:49

on the other side of that

1817

:: 57:50

your goals

1818

:: 57:50

you gotta be going in the same fucking direction

1819

:: 57:52

otherwise you know what I mean

1820

:: 57:53

and like we always like

1821

:: 57:54

we're like yep

1822

:: 57:55

Dubai USA yep this

1823

:: 57:57

yep that and

1824

:: 57:58

and like

1825

:: 57:58

and also I feel like we go off the energies as like

1826

:: 58:01

you know someone's like

1827

:: 58:02

yeah cool

1828

:: 58:02

let's go have a few drinks and then it's together

1829

:: 58:04

like we're always always on wine and then we're like

1830

:: 58:08

I know drinking for months

1831

:: 58:09

you know like it's always keen to do the thing

1832

:: 58:11

but yeah you gotta push each other to grow

1833

:: 58:13

but you know when we started believing your breath

1834

:: 58:16

I um

1835

:: 58:17

I literally wanted to leave FIFO and do this

1836

:: 58:20

and she was

1837

:: 58:20

the one person who supported me through everything

1838

:: 58:23

loved me unconditionally and she was like

1839

:: 58:25

I don't think it's a good idea

1840

:: 58:26

she was living in fear and then I was like

1841

:: 58:27

no I decided to rely on a man

1842

:: 58:29

she her story is

1843

:: 58:30

relying on a man didn't work for her back in the day

1844

:: 58:33

so she built herself strong enough to be the mom

1845

:: 58:35

to be the dad to be the make up

1846

:: 58:37

make the money then I had a baby had to rely on a man

1847

:: 58:40

my thing was like reflacing off fuckin you

1848

:: 58:42

you couldn't rely on a man here you gonna be

1849

:: 58:43

you gonna be a single woman

1850

:: 58:44

and I'm like I'm like

1851

:: 58:45

I wanna quit FIFO high paying

1852

:: 58:48

job and I wanna teach people how to breathe

1853

:: 58:50

and she's like what the fuck

1854

:: 58:51

fuck you talking about get back to work

1855

:: 58:53

and he and he's like I'm unhappy

1856

:: 58:55

and I said

1857

:: 58:55

didn't I give a fuck if you're unhappy or not

1858

:: 58:57

I was unhappy

1859

:: 58:57

there was a there was a misunderstanding there

1860

:: 58:59

we were communicating yeah

1861

:: 59:01

but we weren't understanding she understand me

1862

:: 59:02

I don't understand her I wanna do bigger things

1863

:: 59:05

then I did like this breathwork with her

1864

:: 59:06

and she was like yep

1865

:: 59:07

you need to be in this space

1866

:: 59:08

this is the most craziest thing ever

1867

:: 59:10

the world needs to know about this

1868

:: 59:11

but then the thing that was the game changer for me

1869

:: 59:15

in the direction of where we went

1870

:: 59:17

was I seen other people big people

1871

:: 59:19

like probably the biggest people in the game

1872

:: 59:20

doing breathwork travelling the world doing workshops

1873

:: 59:23

and I'm gonna do an Australian tour in case he's like

1874

:: 59:25

with what money and how and where

1875

:: 59:27

and I said I don't know and we had believe a label

1876

:: 59:29

she was running ads

1877

:: 59:30

she's a queen at running ads and I was like

1878

:: 59:32

just use your own

1879

:: 59:33

she's only know how to do product based not service

1880

:: 59:35

I said I don't care just click some buttons

1881

:: 59:37

put a video up of me on breathwork

1882

:: 59:38

cause that's his idea that's what my first

1883

:: 59:41

our first tour

1884

:: 59:42

we ever did of believing your breath was um

1885

:: 59:45

160 people hundred and seventy people in Gold Coast

1886

:: 59:49

and I'm behind the like I'm in imposter syndrome

1887

:: 59:52

I'm like

1888

:: 59:53

I've got like other breath workers attacking me saying

1889

:: 59:55

like

1890

:: 59:55

what are you doing these big ego shows for blah blah

1891

:: 59:58

blah and my all my other old friends think I'm crazy

1892

:: 00:01

cause I'm doing this breathwork

1893

:: 00:02

and I felt like my partner didn't really know

1894

:: 00:04

so apart from all that I kept going

1895

:: 00:07

I kept going I got on stage

1896

:: 00:09

I fuckin did my thing

1897

:: 00:11

and like I like we talk about growth

1898

:: 00:12

if I look back to my first session on my first show

1899

:: 00:15

I would cringe yeah yeah

1900

:: 00:17

why did you say that why did you mention this

1901

:: 00:19

and it's like that's what I was saying to my friend

1902

:: 00:21

who did the hypnotherapy course with you guys

1903

:: 00:23

he did his first like

1904

:: 00:25

hypno session with someone the other day

1905

:: 00:27

and he's like oh

1906

:: 00:28

I fucked up this sounds like good

1907

:: 00:29

do you feed the more you write those things down

1908

:: 00:31

and that's growth for the next time

1909

:: 00:32

because the

1910

:: 00:33

the moment you get to a point in your business

1911

:: 00:35

or your life where you like

1912

:: 00:36

I perfected it yeah

1913

:: 00:37

there's no fucking growth yeah

1914

:: 00:38

there's no growth and when you think that you're right

1915

:: 00:42

and everyone else is wrong

1916

:: 00:43

and you close your mind and close the chapter

1917

:: 00:44

and close the book the learning and the growth stops

1918

:: 00:47

and I might now

1919

:: 00:48

I open myself up to so much more failure

1920

:: 00:51

and so much more wrong

1921

:: 00:52

because I'm like every podcast and every shoulder every

1922

:: 00:55

every everything in our relationship

1923

:: 00:57

I might what we don't get right

1924

:: 00:59

we can have a cracker again

1925

:: 01:01

do you know what I mean

1926

:: 01:01

you when you ride your bike for the first time

1927

:: 01:03

you had training wheels it took you a long time

1928

:: 01:05

and that's what people need to realize

1929

:: 01:06

that just slow down and go through the mistakes and

1930

:: 01:09

and the difficulties and you will get there

1931

:: 01:11

so I'm gonna put you guys on the spot here good

1932

:: 01:14

but I want I wanna ask what is the No.

1933

:: 01:18

1 thing that you guys love about each other

1934

:: 01:22

Dun dun dun dun are you going first

1935

:: 01:24

ha ha ha ha ha just started talking

1936

:: 01:26

I'll let you go first

1937

:: 01:27

no

1938

:: 01:27

I only get to choose one you can choose couples wrong

1939

:: 01:30

no one ah okay

1940

:: 01:32

this would be really corny

1941

:: 01:34

but every single morning

1942

:: 01:35

I wake up and I'm not a morning person

1943

:: 01:38

like it takes me an hour to get into the world yeah um

1944

:: 01:42

I I have the craziest dreams and all this stuff

1945

:: 01:45

I wake up every single morning and he's holding me

1946

:: 01:48

and he's telling me how much he loves me

1947

:: 01:50

how beautiful I am

1948

:: 01:51

and how grateful he is to have me in his life

1949

:: 01:54

every single morning like every morning

1950

:: 01:56

I will sometimes sometimes

1951

:: 01:58

I don't even consciously realize it's happening yeah

1952

:: 02:02

and then I'll wake up and I'll just be like

1953

:: 02:05

what life have I created where I have some

1954

:: 02:07

like sometimes actually

1955

:: 02:10

your love makes me love myself more

1956

:: 02:13

oh that's so

1957

:: 02:14

does that make sense like he loves me so much

1958

:: 02:16

I feel like I know that's what you asked me

1959

:: 02:19

I just thought like

1960

:: 02:21

that was the hardest thing for me

1961

:: 02:22

was actually letting you in when we started

1962

:: 02:25

because I had you know

1963

:: 02:27

come divorced dated a little bit

1964

:: 02:29

and then I was just like this

1965

:: 02:31

I'm an independent woman I don't need any man

1966

:: 02:33

that kind of thing that we do when we're trying to heal

1967

:: 02:37

and your love is just like time and time again

1968

:: 02:40

showing up in ways that I could have never imagined

1969

:: 02:42

so thank you I love that

1970

:: 02:44

thank you I think similar

1971

:: 02:47

I I am not

1972

:: 02:48

I'm not awake in the morning

1973

:: 02:50

but junior has allowed me to fully just be me

1974

:: 02:56

as zany and as weird as that is and whatever

1975

:: 02:59

like I feel like I can just step into that

1976

:: 03:03

trust that and know that she loves me in that

1977

:: 03:05

and I don't have to pretend to be a certain person

1978

:: 03:08

to get her love

1979

:: 03:08

I don't have to hide parts of myself or anything

1980

:: 03:12

it's it's freeing

1981

:: 03:13

it's opening it's expanding

1982

:: 03:15

it's and like

1983

:: 03:17

you guys talked about

1984

:: 03:18

wanting each other to step into that more and grow

1985

:: 03:21

like I've never had that before

1986

:: 03:23

and I feel like our openness

1987

:: 03:26

our connection our everything is like nothing I've ever

1988

:: 03:28

experienced in anyone and like not only you

1989

:: 03:31

my best friend like totally

1990

:: 03:33

everything in our life is just you

1991

:: 03:35

on each other and with each other

1992

:: 03:37

and I just love you so much

1993

:: 03:38

and I think wanting each other to grow

1994

:: 03:40

and knowing that we're committed to growing as a team

1995

:: 03:43

is magic and I feel super safe to do that with you

1996

:: 03:46

I feel super open and I wanna see you shine

1997

:: 03:49

and I know that you want that for me

1998

:: 03:51

and I've never felt that like you guys said

1999

:: 03:53

without the hold back without the don't shine like this

2000

:: 03:56

but not like that or you know what I mean

2001

:: 03:58

it's

2002

:: 03:59

and we're such different people now

2003

:: 04:00

than we were when we met as well

2004

:: 04:02

and that's been really cool

2005

:: 04:03

like we are such different people

2006

:: 04:05

it changed so much crazy actually

2007

:: 04:06

so much what about you guys have to turn the table

2008

:: 04:09

yes cause that got very mushy

2009

:: 04:10

yeah I love that though

2010

:: 04:11

they're so beautiful and I think that's what makes

2011

:: 04:14

you know everything work with you guys

2012

:: 04:15

you know your clients feel it

2013

:: 04:17

we feel it your

2014

:: 04:19

I know your business grows because of the love

2015

:: 04:21

and you know we've wasted like

2016

:: 04:22

you know love grows everything yeah

2017

:: 04:24

um for me um

2018

:: 04:26

I'll go first okay bye

2019

:: 04:28

um I

2020

:: 04:28

I just curse you so understanding

2021

:: 04:30

yeah and like without the understanding

2022

:: 04:33

you know this relationship wouldn't have worked

2023

:: 04:35

um I felt as a child growing up

2024

:: 04:37

no one understood me especially with ADHD

2025

:: 04:40

the anxiety the naughty

2026

:: 04:41

the behaviour like my parents

2027

:: 04:42

doctors other kids teachers

2028

:: 04:45

no one understood me in my life

2029

:: 04:46

and I felt like I never really had unconditional love

2030

:: 04:49

I had attention

2031

:: 04:51

you know

2032

:: 04:52

and that that's what I associated love with attention

2033

:: 04:54

whether it was naughty whether it was eyes on me

2034

:: 04:57

whatever it was so

2035

:: 04:58

I feel like Kirsty actually sees me for who I am

2036

:: 05:01

and sees potential in me

2037

:: 05:03

and then that makes me feel safe

2038

:: 05:05

and feels like I can just take over the world

2039

:: 05:08

so I feel like it's really important to have that

2040

:: 05:11

yeah so thank you

2041

:: 05:12

I love that thank you

2042

:: 05:13

so I think for me um

2043

:: 05:15

I don't think anyone has ever loved me

2044

:: 05:17

on the same level that Bo has loved me

2045

:: 05:19

and I I've always wanted to do big things

2046

:: 05:23

and I've got all the talent and I'm very

2047

:: 05:25

very good at what I do

2048

:: 05:26

but I would never have been on stage without his do it

2049

:: 05:30

do it first and figure out the fucking shit later um

2050

:: 05:33

dive in the deep end and I believe you me

2051

:: 05:35

there was a lot of anxiety that came with that

2052

:: 05:37

but so much growth very very quickly

2053

:: 05:40

um and I think he allows me to truly

2054

:: 05:43

he supports me so much that he pushes me up

2055

:: 05:46

and any idea I've ever had

2056

:: 05:48

he's like yeah cool

2057

:: 05:48

let's do it and the trust and the

2058

:: 05:51

the pushing and the constant growing um

2059

:: 05:53

you know this business would not be where it is

2060

:: 05:55

without both of us

2061

:: 05:57

and so it doesn't matter like know what parts we do

2062

:: 06:00

we would never have got to where it is

2063

:: 06:01

and I just think that with

2064

:: 06:02

there's so much love and understanding

2065

:: 06:04

and also just the way that you parent Harvey

2066

:: 06:06

you know um

2067

:: 06:07

I haven't had the best with

2068

:: 06:09

you know my other two baby daddies and

2069

:: 06:11

you know borrow the way that he is a dad

2070

:: 06:15

I just sit back and I also wanted that as a child

2071

:: 06:18

you know and so um yeah

2072

:: 06:20

he's an amazing dad and he's definitely Harvey's hero

2073

:: 06:23

and it is beautiful to watch

2074

:: 06:24

and you know you're

2075

:: 06:26

you're such a beautiful soul inside and out

2076

:: 06:27

and I think the thing is about you

2077

:: 06:28

you're so um

2078

:: 06:30

misunderstood and that's why even

2079

:: 06:32

even even when we were friends

2080

:: 06:34

I was like do you actually know bro

2081

:: 06:36

or do you just know social media bro

2082

:: 06:37

cause they're two very different people

2083

:: 06:39

you know and so yeah

2084

:: 06:40

that's great

2085

:: 06:41

and I think a lot of couples just need to learn that

2086

:: 06:43

it's okay to have a duality

2087

:: 06:44

and a clarity in a relationship

2088

:: 06:46

because in business I'm there like

2089

:: 06:48

fuck it we're doing an event in Dubai next week

2090

:: 06:50

I don't know how I'm gonna

2091

:: 06:51

I'm gonna start calling Kirsty

2092

:: 06:52

start doing the ads yeah

2093

:: 06:53

and then and then Kirsty's like alright

2094

:: 06:56

you've got the idea alright

2095

:: 06:58

I'm gonna get the structure like the ticketing um

2096

:: 07:00

the logistics the legal side of things

2097

:: 07:03

how do we do this and I'm just like

2098

:: 07:05

I don't care for all of that

2099

:: 07:06

like I would go to Dubai jump on stage do a thing yes

2100

:: 07:09

and um

2101

:: 07:10

she will make sure that everything logistically works

2102

:: 07:13

legally and that's why I think

2103

:: 07:15

in your relationship with business

2104

:: 07:17

do you you do need a

2105

:: 07:18

you need the different

2106

:: 07:20

polarities and dualities to make the one thing happen

2107

:: 07:22

cause if you're both big jumpers into the deep end

2108

:: 07:25

fuckin nothing's ever gonna work yeah

2109

:: 07:27

unless you learn lessons

2110

:: 07:28

but you both gotta have like someone's gonna be like

2111

:: 07:31

hey when it rained in a little bit here

2112

:: 07:33

and the other person is with the Wildcat or

2113

:: 07:34

or we need to be like you know

2114

:: 07:36

it's too rained in let's fucking yeah

2115

:: 07:38

really going so you do need that push in both sides

2116

:: 07:42

otherwise

2117

:: 07:42

you just going in a straight line for so long yeah

2118

:: 07:45

that's it what

2119

:: 07:46

what I wanna ask you guys is

2120

:: 07:48

if anyone wants to be in your world

2121

:: 07:49

like if anyone wants to do NLP training nlp

2122

:: 07:53

uh hypnotherapy

2123

:: 07:54

they wanna become a hypnotherapist

2124

:: 07:56

they wanna become NLP practitioner certified

2125

:: 08:00

how do how do how do we do it

2126

:: 08:01

like you guys are the best in the biz in the world

2127

:: 08:04

and just I just wanna reiterate

2128

:: 08:07

you might have done hemotherapy before

2129

:: 08:08

but you haven't done post hepnotherapy

2130

:: 08:10

and he is literally the best in the world

2131

:: 08:12

and so even if you think you're a hepnotherapist

2132

:: 08:14

you're not a hepnotherapist

2133

:: 08:15

until you've done post hepnotherapy

2134

:: 08:17

exactly hundred percent

2135

:: 08:18

how do how do

2136

:: 08:19

how do we get in touch how do we yeah

2137

:: 08:20

how do we we will share all the links with you

2138

:: 08:22

we we actually

2139

:: 08:24

one of our highest values as well is connection

2140

:: 08:26

and so we really love having a connection course

2141

:: 08:28

inquiry call to make sure it's the right fit

2142

:: 08:30

yeah some people

2143

:: 08:31

actually maybe need to do some one on one

2144

:: 08:32

work with one of our master coaches

2145

:: 08:34

before they're ready for the training

2146

:: 08:35

it can it can really do like that

2147

:: 08:37

so we do a bit of an assessment actually

2148

:: 08:39

and that also

2149

:: 08:40

make sure that everyone that's in our trainings

2150

:: 08:42

has the best experience in the training

2151

:: 08:44

and that you have that kind of community camaraderie

2152

:: 08:46

yeah uh

2153

:: 08:47

and so it might be with myself or Paul

2154

:: 08:49

might be with one of our master coaches

2155

:: 08:50

but it's about 20 minute half an hour chat

2156

:: 08:52

where we'll just find out what your goals are

2157

:: 08:54

how you wanna use the skills

2158

:: 08:55

we can talk to you about how it could actually work

2159

:: 08:57

and if it is the right thing

2160

:: 08:58

and if it's not maybe then what the best step is

2161

:: 09:00

yeah but then we look at

2162

:: 09:02

you know when the next training dates are

2163

:: 09:04

and we can work with

2164

:: 09:04

you on payment plans and things like that

2165

:: 09:06

we like to be really accessible and affordable

2166

:: 09:08

because we know that when people get to our trainings

2167

:: 09:11

they level up their self worth massively

2168

:: 09:13

that even people who start off on payment plans end up

2169

:: 09:16

paying things back and that's a thing as well

2170

:: 09:18

so you guys can reach out to us on socials

2171

:: 09:20

either add me or Juliet or Evo

2172

:: 09:22

relaunch our pages

2173

:: 09:23

and make sure you mention believe in your breath

2174

:: 09:25

and Kirstie and bow

2175

:: 09:26

and we will take care of your community as well uh

2176

:: 09:29

but yeah

2177

:: 09:30

we watch your socials just jump so at Paul Alicia

2178

:: 09:33

um Paul dot Alicia is it

2179

:: 09:35

no it's Paul Alicia

2180

:: 09:37

oh yeah G L I s

2181

:: 09:38

E O and Juliette Lever

2182

:: 09:40

and then evolve and relaunch is our Instagram

2183

:: 09:43

and we'll put it all in the show notes as well

2184

:: 09:46

I wanna I wanna thank you guys for your time

2185

:: 09:48

and just personally like my own growth

2186

:: 09:50

as I said earlier on um

2187

:: 09:53

I can see it I can feel it yeah

2188

:: 09:55

from when when did we meet last time in Adelaide

2189

:: 09:58

was that six months ago yeah

2190

:: 09:59

that would have been that was before the course

2191

:: 10:01

yeah yeah

2192

:: 10:01

yeah would have been just before the course

2193

:: 10:03

so so yeah about six months ago

2194

:: 10:04

yeah

2195

:: 10:04

you guys feel really grounded one more in your bodies

2196

:: 10:07

one thing

2197

:: 10:08

one thing I really took away with working with you

2198

:: 10:11

that I really looked up to

2199

:: 10:13

my problem is that I follow people and then I'm like

2200

:: 10:16

I have to be like them well

2201

:: 10:17

like I have to start dressing like them and

2202

:: 10:19

and going down their path

2203

:: 10:21

and now I'm finding how to take inspiration

2204

:: 10:23

but still staying authentic

2205

:: 10:25

which was really difficult for me

2206

:: 10:26

before working with you and then I found like

2207

:: 10:30

that you swore and that you dad jokes and you're funny

2208

:: 10:32

and it was literally like

2209

:: 10:34

you're not this professional guy that's like

2210

:: 10:37

you know okay

2211

:: 10:37

and write this and and it was just like

2212

:: 10:39

you were just yourself yeah

2213

:: 10:41

and you made me laugh so much and

2214

:: 10:43

and you gave me permission to be myself

2215

:: 10:46

and and I think a few things you said is like um

2216

:: 10:48

I think in the course was you know

2217

:: 10:49

I could stand up here and be somebody else and

2218

:: 10:53

and you just might not like me for that

2219

:: 10:55

so I'm gonna be me and then I found that by doing that

2220

:: 10:58

I've actually attracted my perfect clients yes

2221

:: 11:01

before I was tryna be someone I wasn't

2222

:: 11:04

and then anxiety anxiety that I had by tryna

2223

:: 11:07

tryna impress people that I didn't like

2224

:: 11:09

or didn't wanna work with

2225

:: 11:10

created this big ball of anxiety

2226

:: 11:13

and then I just laid back into like who I am

2227

:: 11:15

I swear I listen that and if someone comes on and goes

2228

:: 11:18

you know I don't like your page

2229

:: 11:19

I've done breath work before and they didn't swear

2230

:: 11:21

like you I'm like

2231

:: 11:21

well then we're not for you

2232

:: 11:22

yeah and I'm so and that's okay

2233

:: 11:24

I feel okay with that now before you're like

2234

:: 11:26

oh you know

2235

:: 11:26

they don't like me the validation

2236

:: 11:28

I'm sorry I won't swear my next event come along now

2237

:: 11:30

fuck that I'm gonna be myself yeah

2238

:: 11:33

I'm gonna show up I'm gonna be myself and yeah

2239

:: 11:35

I just want to thank you guys for that

2240

:: 11:36

so that's awesome and really for stepping into that

2241

:: 11:39

that's cool awesome

2242

:: 11:40

and I really wanna thank you guys for your time today

2243

:: 11:42

we're so stoked

2244

:: 11:43

we've got hypnotherapy advanced masters next month

2245

:: 11:47

yeah and we're doing that

2246

:: 11:48

we can't wait we're staying in Perth for that

2247

:: 11:50

yes and um yeah

2248

:: 11:52

I can't wait and next summer in Adelaide

2249

:: 11:53

let's do a part two yeah

2250

:: 11:55

or next summer in Bali yes yeah

2251

:: 11:57

oh yeah if you guys come to Bali

2252

:: 11:59

we can do oh

2253

:: 11:59

you know what maybe we'll be all in Dubai together

2254

:: 12:02

who fucking knows

2255

:: 12:05

alright awesome

2256

:: 12:06

wrapping up another episode of spillity

2257

:: 12:08

I wanna thank you guys again for coming on

2258

:: 12:10

and your time and the work you guys are doing

2259

:: 12:12

absolutely amazing check these guys out

2260

:: 12:15

all the links will be in the show notes and let's do it

2261

:: 12:18

we've got a we've got Adelaide this weekend limitless

2262

:: 12:21

I can't wait two days um

2263

:: 12:23

do you wanna say anything cursy on the clothes

2264

:: 12:25

no just that you know

2265

:: 12:26

you guys are amazing absolutely changed

2266

:: 12:27

our lives and know we're so blessed to have

2267

:: 12:29

you know beautiful people like you guys and our life

2268

:: 12:31

and also that we can all have a way for success

2269

:: 12:34

people can go to you guys

2270

:: 12:35

and that's what this is all about

2271

:: 12:36

and anyone that's in business

2272

:: 12:38

that really wants to actually be in this business

2273

:: 12:41

to help people this is what you wanna be doing

2274

:: 12:43

it's all about collaborations

2275

:: 12:44

about networking you get to the places faster

2276

:: 12:47

by connecting to the right people

2277

:: 12:48

and I just want everybody to know that

2278

:: 12:50

that when you're in business

2279

:: 12:51

if you get into those rooms with the right people

2280

:: 12:54

you gonna get to your dream destination faster

2281

:: 12:56

there is no competition in this world

2282

:: 12:58

it's all about collaboration and love

2283

:: 12:59

and so just

2284

:: 13:00

thank you so much for just being two beautiful people

2285

:: 13:02

appreciated thank you guys too

2286

:: 13:02

thank you it's amazing to watch your journey

2287

:: 13:04

and thank you for sharing what you do with the world